


[Underfell] How do you bond with your Brother?

by Silent_Observer_of_time



Series: Spears and Bones [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Behind the Scenes, Brother Feels, Drinking & Talking, Established Alphys/Undyne, Family Issues, Gen, Implied Consent, Implied/Referenced Torture, Invasion of Privacy, Minor Grillby/Sans, Minor Mettaton/Papyrus, Nice Flowey, Paperwork, Papyrus Has Issues, Protective Sans, Protective Undyne, Relationship Problems, Sans Has Issues, Scene Gone Wrong, Secrets, Sibling Bonding, Sleepovers, Social Experiments, The Talk, Underfell Asgore, Underfell Flowey, Underfell Grillby, Underfell Mettaton, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underfell Undyne, Work, royal guard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9086578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_Observer_of_time/pseuds/Silent_Observer_of_time
Summary: What would've happened if... [POV: Papyrus] & [POV: Undyne] Mixed (One-shot)Undyne and Papyrus decides to make a game to eradicate the useless ones in the Royal Guard. Of course, they place a prize for those who rank best in the Units... As long as it's within their budget.*Then Sans does the impossible.*Papyrus laments at his brother's idiocy.*Undyne sees the end of things....[Sans might know how siblings should ACT in a Kill-or-be-killed world.]





	1. Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In all honesty, the ACT won't work if one party doesn't understand what they're doing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sets after POV of Papyrus story and in the near ending of Undyne's POV. . (Before the King and Queen Ending I mean.) ^-^,

[POV UNDYNE]

"Papyrus! I'm bored with all the shitty paperwork. Let's burn them down to the ground!" Undyne declared, raising her arms as if they were at war. Paperwork was a collection of the pieces of shit and trash from the various bastards and bitches who want things legitimized and done by the Monarchy. She knew King Asgore was also cursing his work one time when she visited, seeing the man burn whole loads of paperwork he deemed wasted one-sixteenth of his whole life. If DESPAIR wasn't going to get them Fall, INSANITY will.

"...." Papyrus was also slumped to the table side with a blank gaze. This skeleton doesn't need sleep, but if he doesn't finish this pile by today... Papyrus would never forgive himself. Worse cases happen when Undyne sees Sans come over their place, wondering in a tsundere manner where his brother went for the past few days. These were the days when the deadline of paperwork and project implementations were looming, both officers having no choice but to stay in one place surrounded with these psychological torture devices. She wished they didn't have to do Missions, patrols and paperwork at the same time-

"Wait! My shitty brain is working on me!" Undyne eyes widened, an idea beginning to form in her head. This can work (or not). It was possible to decrease the Mission, patrols and paperwork through the use of their pathetic men. All they need to do is force them to do it or they'll be executed! No. That means she'll have to kill half of the population for not being too passionate. "Papyrus! Let's make a one-no two month game with the prizes being whatever the monster wants!"

"Undyne. If I were to win, I'd ask Sans to find me a home, leave me alone and put me in the friend zone because I'm done with his puns, his drug usage and drinking sessions in that blasted bar..." Papyrus sounds dead in the inside. Wait a minute. If Papyrus and Sans separate, the Royal Guards are going to see him invincible again and start plotting an overthrow with Papyrus as their preferred... Captain. No fucking way!

"Papyrus. When I say a two-month game, I mean to say we should find a better method in taking care of all our chores in the Royal Guard! You know, since we have so many different Units and they all have different ways of executing their shit?" Undyne bumps the skeleton's shoulder. Papyrus groggily sits back straight and looks down at his paperwork. They have only been in her house locked up and eating instant noodles for five days. If it reached a week, there is a 100% chance Sans will picklock the door and enter the house to drag his deadbeat brother. Undyne bumps again, affirming her stance. "You get my drift?"

"YES... WE COULD DO THAT. *YAWN* LET ME WRITE AN EXPERIMENTAL OUTLINE FOR THE PROGRAM." Papyrus yawns and starts sketching and writing something on blank paper he pulled from the top of the piano towards him with telekinesis. Staying awake wasn't usually very magic consuming unless you use your head to think and think. While Papyrus was writing implementations and Units involved, Undyne slipped in some of the boring economic paperwork to Papyrus. She doesn't like the Nobles. They were too greedy.

"WHAT ELSE CAN WE ADD?" Papyrus asked, tapping the pencil on the table. The skeleton was even wearing his reading glasses because of his low magic level decreasing from the energy output. Undyne didn't know Papyrus needed magic to see, that was something new. Alphys is so considerate to create these, but Papyrus wears this in her place alone, never outside. Undyne looks over and nods.

"Make the higher-ups more centralized because I don't trust them." Undyne points at the upper level of the diagram filled with words and shapes. "Missions are also centralized so we can file out the hidden potential in the army and make it essential. Judging from the time and execution and outcome of the mission, the Royal Guardsman will experience either an increase or decrease in reputation and salary. Let's also make all the Royal Guardsmen below the Unit Head start as Rookies again."

"AND I'M GUESSING THOSE WITH THE HIGHEST RANK WITHIN EACH UNIT AT THE END OF THE GAME WILL RECEIVE A PRIZE FOR THEIR HARD WORK? OF COURSE, THE PRIZE IS UP TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. WE DON'T WANT IT TO BE THAT EXPENSIVE." Papyrus was writing down the notes and looks over her direction. Undyne nodded, "Yup. However, the Unit Head will also work to specify the attitudes and report towards their members. Collecting the reports, we'll declare the best in each unit and the Head Unit will call for a meeting with all their members to decide on the incentives. If the group has a grudge over the chosen member, then the highest ranked individual will proceed to the higher-ups."

"DONE! KING ASGORE IS SURE TO APPROVE OF THIS. COMPARED TO THIS TWO HUNDRED PAGE PAPER EXCLAIMING SLAVERY MUST BE LEGITIMIZED OR THIS ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-EIGHT PAGED PAPER THAT DISCUSSES RAPE AND SEX OF A THIRD PARTY TO BE ACCEPTABLE FOR MARRIED COUPLES, OUR PAPER IS TEN PAGES OF PURE NO NONSENSE TEXT AND THE EPIC DRAWINGS OF THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus cheered holding his final product which he wrote within ten minutes alone. Undyne can imagine a lot of drawings with text bubbles stating gibberish but okay. Undyne stares at her miserable subordinate and got another idea that could motivate both of them.

"Knowing me, this game will have no challenge. I bet I'll win with best Unit in the Underground!" Undyne gloated, her grin wide with glee. Papyrus paused and a sharp electricity sizzle came between them. Papyrus hates being considered inferior. She knows this attitude came from their childhood where Mr. Gerson never allowed the skeleton to touch and do anything, Papyrus being the clumsy curious bugger she chugs all the Sea tea given to her.

"OH REALLY?" Papyrus asked, clearly infuriated with her statement. Undyne crossed her arms and turned smug. "I'm positive on this Paps. You'll be bowing down my house when I'm done!"

"HUH. I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO WIPE THE BLOOD ON MY BOOTS ONCE I'VE WON!" Papyrus smirked. Undyne twitched, ready to strike the opposition yet eager to see this creature bowing down to her in pure submission, she loves challenges and winning against her foes, even if it's her own ally. "Then it's decided."

"OF COURSE, BITCHY SUPERIOR-ONCE WE FINISH THIS SMALL PAPERPILE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE." Her second-in-command stared at the pile, but Undyne picked as much of the finished paperwork both have done in the course of the five days in her hands. Heading out, Undyne called out. "I'm delivering!"

"UNDYNE!!!" Papyrus screamed in fury as she ran laughing. It has been so long since she smelled the fresh blood and dust in the air. Ah! Pollution, War and DESPAIR - How she missed it so.

* * *

 

          It was one of those days where the Bartender tends to his only patron who was frequently drunk and injured for unknown reasons, but not today. Strange, but he could already take a guess why this is so. It was also the reason why Papyrus isn't coming to the bar and dragging Sans out. If Grillby didn't know any better, he'd think Sans was an easy target for free EXP or SEX... But he knows how this skeleton works, Sans isn't going down easy without a fight and fighting usually means being placed in his LOVE List. His current status could be close to a 'friends with benefits' as Sans and he would talk about issues at home such as spoiled brats. He had a bitchy daughter while Sans had a sadistic brother until....

"grillbz~ lend me some advice will ya?" Sans asked, skull slump on the counter holding fire whiskey with one hand. Grillby shook his head, but willingly sat beside his friend. Pulling out a stick, he lit it with his own magic and smoked. Sans continued, "how do i get closer to my bro?"

" _I thought you hated the guy?_ " Grillby's hand twitched, remembering the skeleton threatening his customers. He needed those babbling buffoons for profit. It was also strange why Sans would keep going to Papyrus, when clearly the skeleton doesn't want his company.

"pft! you don't get it grillbz... my bro paps? he's a tsundereplane with a cinnabun interior~ he's all i have left in this hellhole..." Sans looks over to the Fire Elemental with a wry smile. Grillby stubbed his cigarette and removed his glasses. He wanted to say it took him five years to befriend Papyrus, but Sans would get hurt by the fact Grillby became Papyrus' ally before he did and never told him. This was difficult. Grillby cleaned his eyeglasses. " _What do you usually do to befriend the skeleton?_ "

"i try to talk to him on my free time." Sans took a large gulp from his mug and exhales with a smile. Sans was going nowhere. Grillby knows Sans is a lethargic skeleton who has multiple side jobs and even comes here for a drink. There was very small hours for brother bonding and this skeleton certainly doesn't know how to act towards his kind. Same goes for Papyrus, remembering how the tall skeleton acts more like a mother than a brother to Undyne. The elemental scratches his head, flames flickering to a mellow periwinkle. 'What to do?'

"recently, he's been ignoring me even at home... he only leaves money for me to binge on and doesn't even greet me anymore..." Sans was already tearing up, why does he have to be a sucker for cute things? Grillby leans his arm to look over the skeleton with a frown, " _Cheer up. The Royal Guards are undergoing a **clean up** within their ranks.._ "

"really?" Sans asked, his voice a bit slur. Grillby really wants to drag this skeleton to the counter and... But he wouldn't because Sans and Papyrus are in a SOUL Pact that alerts Papyrus if anyone was trying to fuck his brother. The ACT should be at the consent of the skeleton... Damn it! Grillby nodded, giving a pat. (The best he could do because touching was also a no-no. He tried two months ago...) " _Yes... I also hear there is a prize for the top ranks. Mind joining to earn more gold to binge on?_ "

"sure~ anything for you buddy." Sans closed his eyes. Grillby continues stroking the skeleton's skull, torn into thinking whether Sans was a patron, a lover or a son to him? The fire elemental rests his cheeks on his face with a frown, stating in a defeated voice. " _And maybe you could... Force some brother bonding into the condition._ "

"zzzz" Sans was already asleep. Grillby can already count one to ten in his head before the tall tsundereplane comes over-

*BANG! *

'Right on time.' Grillby turns to see Papyrus with his glorious torn scarf exclaiming in his usual loud voice, "GRILLBY DON'T YOU DARE!"

"I won't until I find the right opportunity. Oh and watch your back." Grillby smirked at the wary skeleton who picks his brother in his arms. Sans snuggled close to Papyrus chest, too drunk to care how adorable he looks- Frick! Grillby snap out of it.

"HMPH." Papyrus nodded and walked away. If only Papyrus knew how many suitors and admirers he had to eliminate and ward off just to get Sans' attention not just as a bartender, but also as a possible fuck buddy... Papyrus would already be fucking Sans to the ground.

*CHING! *

"?" Grillby stared at the bag of gold, looking back at Papyrus slightly embarrassed as he averts his gaze from him. "T-THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF HIM."

*click. *

"..." Grillby picked the bag up by the hand, weighing it and remembering why Sans pays too much attention to the skeleton. It was the same thing with Undyne (and when Papyrus was younger, so did he). Papyrus is so... Papyrus. You wouldn't want him any other way if you're friends with the guy, being Papyrus' enemy was a pissy ending for him and he was a well known mafia leader in these areas.

* * *

[POV PAPYRUS]

"Sans! The fuck do you want?!" Papyrus snapped, looking down at the offender. He was writing a report in his room and Sans trespassed his territory. This was a great offense, but Sans didn't respond as he gave his younger brother a hug by the waist. Usually, Papyrus would pry Sans forcefully with his sharp phalanges, scream obscenities, beat the skeleton until he can no longer move and send said-trash outside his room... But the Second-in-Command didn't have the strength to get angry, Papyrus has to focus on his work. Aside from this, he has to finish this other pile of paperwork, go to sleep, wake up in the morning, handle the patrol routes for supplies and travel, train with Undyne, handle the guards, hear the citizen's discontentment, write up the reports again, compile and submit said-reports to Undyne-

"aside from the fact you skipped dinner and made me food, i wanted to talk about why you're fucking nice with the others..." Sans starts as Papyrus pokes his brother's skull. The tall skeleton wonders how his brother became so clingy all because of his actions. Papyrus turns back and continuous writing a report regarding the apprehended bandits last week. He inquired further with little notice. "What made you say?"

"you ask for suggestions and opinions on certain problems" Sans began which brings Papyrus to remember the circumstances. Asking opinions... Papyrus recalled doing that with the Dog couple towards the food supply dilemma. It was useful to hear there are alternate routes, means and sources of food for the village. Another group he did this was with Greater Dog and Lesser Dog when they inquired about the children wandering about. Warding the minors out of the area, it was strange how the duo understand those brats better than him.

“… entrust responsibility…” Sans must be referring the time when he gave Doggo the responsibility to swiftly carry out judgement towards unknown trespassers. Mostly a PATIENT-type, Doggo had an accurate grasp on the identities of Snowdin residents as well as travelers over the village. The Snowdin Unit are often given the task of handling ITEM routes and exterminating enemies of the Royalty. Okay. There's also another chore required towards all Royal Guards. They have to do paperwork and file reports before they can carry out their tasks as walking executors of the Law. Because Papyrus and Sans are the only skeletons left, it became his job to be the one doing his and Sans' reports and paperwork.

'Reasonable.' Papyrus thought. Since Doggo was blind, the mutt would be careful on dusting monsters as the knife-sword wielder has a hard time doing the current paperwork. Papyrus saw this as a waste of potential so he offered Doggo the opportunity to dust intruders and report to him instead. After this, he, as the Second-in-command, will file the murder reports in hard copy instead. He looks down to see a black jacket with a small hole, probably from the branches when Sans was running from the Units again. He was about to poke it when-

“…incentives when the monster done well.” Sans ends and looks up at Papyrus. Papyrus immediately retracts his hand and looks at Sans as if he was paying attention. He understood why his older brother was bringing up this conversation. Sans is worried for him being associated as a nice boss when Papyrus aims to being an efficient boss. Sans' observation must be from last week. Papyrus puts his pen down and turns to face Sans, who was no longer hugging him but, facing him with crossed arms. Papyrus doesn't know if Sans understands that this month's a test trial, but he doesn't want the guy to find out. He sighs, "Sans. The Royal Guard are merely trying a method to help increase efficiency in the various Units scattered in the regions."

"then why exempt me from your test-run?" Sans asked, giving a valid point. Papyrus actively avoided Sans while undergoing the social experiment. In his head, he could state multiple reasons out loud as an insult. One is that Sans is Lazy and has one HP to allow the skeleton to join expeditions, group investigations and give important tasks. Two, Sans always ticks him off and never takes things seriously (only in exceptional situations). Three, Sans never takes his life seriously, nearly dying over and over from his Units. Four, Papyrus has no idea what sort of extra training he could give the guy because Sans' LV doesn't increase his STATs. Five, Sans doesn't like killing other monsters and is not helping him at all! Six, Sans might bring the entire Unit down, causing the Canine Unit to blame and try murdering the skeleton behind his back. Papyrus wouldn't kill Sans because he already set a very low standards when Sans is the one on the job. And finally seven, he wants to beat Undyne's Unit in Hotland and some parts of Waterfall because he's clearly the better strategist. Papyrus averts his eye lights to the side. "...."

"i'm waiting." Sans frown deepened. However, Sans is technically in his Unit. Based on a book he found within Snowdin's library, it mentions **tension**  of any sorts could cause a major setback to a group's goal. In this case, his reply might increase Sans' time period getting intoxicated in that blasted bar. It'll affect his financial and personal status as a whole. Papyrus could try to incapacitate or lock the skeleton in the house, but that would risk the chance of intruders trying to kidnap the skeleton. A lot of monsters are trying to either kill or rape his brother. It is indeed puzzling. Besides, Sans sometimes reminds of the most littlest of things as if the skeleton had memorized his usual agenda. Papyrus tapped his finger behind his back. Think of something, you are the Terrible Papyrus! "Your part comes later."

"explain further." Sans' mood lightened. The guy even looks curious; Papyrus wondered why he even bothered to lie to this weakling. The Terrible Papyrus isn't really a great liar, not great in the sense he makes his lies into reality and it totally sucks balls. Lies are meant to cover up things, not forced to keep masquerading it like an ugly scar. It was now or never! Papyrus is not the type to retract his statement. His pride was hindering him to admit he's wrong or hesitant. "I plan on discussing with you about our Unit's progress as a 3rd perspective since it's difficult to analyze the group's progress, improvement towards concerns and fulfillment of goals when your members are attached and familiarized with each other's role in the group!"

"..." Sans was quiet when Papyrus positions himself back to his work. While picking his pen, Papyrus was internally screaming at himself for his stupidity. Would Sans even believe such a thing? A dominant voice said Sans wouldn't question his authority and accept this submissively like the pet he is. But at the back of his head, there was a squeaky voice screaming that Sans shouldn't believe him or else Papyrus will have to ask for the jerk's opinion. Papyrus' eye lights moved to his peripheral, staring at the source of the disturbance.

"Sans. Stop hugging me or I am tossing you out of the house!" Papyrus hissed when he realized Sans was hugging again on the waist. He was even wearing his BAD DUDE shirt with a black sleeveless jacket and black pants. It was a wonder how this skeleton keeps on sweating when they're in fucking Snowdin! Now he'll have to wear the COOL DUDE shirt because of Sans' filth... He'll change later when Sans leaves. Sans looks at him with an annoyed expression, "you spaced off when i was talking jerk. touching you is the only way to get your attention."

"Now that you have my attention, what is it?!" Papyrus squints to glower at his older brother. Sans removed his grip and responds with a grin. "as much as i appreciate my role in the royal guard's experiment, i wanna experience what you do to those mutts."

'Was he spying on my activities?' Papyrus thought, but shook his head. "Very well. I wouldn't want to be seen biased to my own brother. *sigh* I am setting my Unit's conditions then. First, you will not lie to your superior because I will take your opinions seriously. Second, you are to follow the orders of your superiors unless it jeopardizes your life because some orders from your team members are really idiotic and incomprehensible judging from the skill difference. That is if you trust that monster with your very life, I don't really care."

"Third, you are not allowed to slack off when given a mission or a task, but you are allowed to do other recreational activities as a past time. Fourth and as a special case given your stats, you will not be assigned to missions but you must take up a task at least once a week. It is a norm for Royal Guards to take up various missions and increase their reputation." Papyrus rambles on as he slowly goes back to his hundred paged paperwork he has to submit by the morning. "Lastly fifth, you are allowed discuss to other members of the Unit as well as your superior regarding concerns that may hinder the group's objective. Any questions before you begin from 'scratch' your duty as a sentry guard?"

"how long is this experiment going to be, what is the extent of this experiment towards the royal guard as a whole and can i decide on my incentive?" Sans asked which Papyrus didn't immediately reply, twirling his pen. Writing a few sentences, Papyrus can feel a ghost touch near his waist. Papyrus replied with a head turn, glaring. "One month left, applied to the entirety of the Royal Guards to remove disobedient and unskilled members. Incentives will be rewarded depending on the superior's standard which for me would be: the level of obedience to authority, hard work regarding the tasks, skills in finishing the missions, manipulation of fellow co-workers and finally, foresight to impede detrimental attacks towards society."

"you didn't answer my last question." Sans was grinning and Papyrus didn't want to say it, but rules are rules. "Yes. If you are ranked highest on a unit, you can decide what your incentives will be at the end of the week through the discussion with your superior and your team members."

"and you're my superior right?" Sans asked, sounding like a taunt. Papyrus' eye socket turns dark. What the fuck is Sans planning? "Yes, I am... Sans. Even if there is a low chance for you to accomplish such feats judging with your lazy character and be ranked one against all the competent creatures under my care, I am warning you beforehand that you will not ask for the impossible such as a Human SOUL or King Asgore is going to kill me and Undyne."

"perfect~" Sans went away. Papyrus doesn't like it when an injured, abused skeleton walks out of his room humming eerily. Papyrus heads back to his work, imaging that the skeleton must be thinking of an endless supply of mustard or a huge vat of gold to spend for drinking and drugs. Wait a minute, can't Sans make his own drugs? That lazy ass.

* * *

[POV UNDYNE]

[One month later...]

"THIS... CAN'T BE HAPPENING..." Papyrus was on the floor on all fours after he saw the results and comments of the various Head Units with respective Royal Guardsmen and mercenaries. Undyne was looking at the list edited and finalized after the meeting. She could understand Papyrus' dilemma. Sans was the MVP in the Snowdin's Unit. Her Second-in-Command is mourning-wait, are those tears?

"Papyrus... C-cheer up... I'm sure the guy won't ask for anarchy and whatnot?" Undyne looks at her window to see another dummy dead on her training mat. She has to get a stronger dummy next time... A wild dummy? Papyrus wasn't moving, forcing her to playfully kick the guy's boot.

"Come on, big guy! Go back and say the results. You can handle it!" Undyne cheered, but the skeleton fell to the ground instead. "CAN I NOT?"

"No! Go there right now or I'm calling Sans!" Undyne warned and speak of the devil; there was a knock on the door. Undyne looked at the clock to see it was 8 in the night. It was too early for the girl scouts to come over. "We're not in the mood to eat the shit cookies!"

"this is sans, sans the skeleton. here to get boss." Sans commented, but he was drunk and happy. How did that guy go all the way to Waterfall without getting murdered?! Papyrus stood up and had an alarmed expression. He said cautiously, "PAPYRUS ISN'T HERE..."

"oh... okay..." Sans sounded glum, a soft thud on the door because the small skeleton leaned on it. Papyrus slowly crept to the back door while Undyne went over her window to check if there was anyone with the skeleton. No one. "wait a minute! boss! you cunt! come here."

"Too late, dweeb." Undyne snickered as Sans opened the door to look around. Groaning, Sans went out of the door. Undyne closed both doors and locked it, wondering what sort of argument the skeleton brothers are going to commence.

* * *

[POV PAPYRUS]

[1st day]

"WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME, SANS?!" Papyrus laments, staring at the grinning skeleton holding a carton of milk to pour onto his cereal. Placing it in the middle, Sans lifts his spoon and made the cereal fall down with a soft plop. "it's only for a week, jerk face."

"A WEEK. A WEEK WITHOUT WORK FOR **ME** , SANS. WHAT ABOUT YOUR SIDE JOBS?! YOU CAN'T ABANDON THEM FOR A MEASLY ACTIVITY." Papyrus tried to persuade his older brother. As long as it doesn't reach the second day, the Second-in-command has a chance to alter Sans' prize yet Sans wasn't making it easy. Sans closed and eyes and shrugged. "i can skip them, no big deal."

"SANS!" Papyrus wants to sulk in his bedroom because right now, there was really nothing to do in the house. In fact, Sans even placed his dirty items in the laundry area as well as clean the rooms before he came back. What was this pun-loving scientist planning?

"i heard from grillbz your an introvert so...." Sans placed a list of activities. Papyrus was silent, staring at the list to see words usually done in novels but not all of these games were elaborated. "we're gonna start all this after breakfast so eat up before the flakes go stale. you're gonna **love** it."

'i hope.' Sans thinks Papyrus is shaking from anger and went up his room for the gears. Truth be told, the skeleton was shaking in fear. Papyrus was afraid for not knowing how to play and ACT in these areas, a huge chance of disappointing himself and his brother's expectations. The same brother he thought was weak and useless until Sans did **this** and wowed the crowd.

...

"..." Papyrus was silently walking behind Sans as the small skeleton talked about the attractions in the carnival. Entering different areas, Papyrus wondered if the Black Market had supplied these bizarre mutated monsters until he saw children passing through also wearing those silly clothes. It was child slavery. Papyrus held onto Sans' hand, not wanting to get lost and start screaming Sans' name like an idiot. Sans thought otherwise.

"really?" Sans looks at him with a surprised expression before removing Papyrus' grip from his own, muttering curses as he went off to the main event. Papyrus turned silent and thinks he should've studied the interiors of the place more. Following the flustered skeleton, Papyrus made sure Sans never left his sights.

...

"so uh... what was with the holding hands? not like i need to know the reason..." Sans wondered as they walked back to Snowdin. Papyrus couldn't reply and was surprised to see a mob of identical Monster Kids hopping about with bigger lizards for parents. Sans grew silent, held his hand without looking at him and dragged him.

"fucking brats..." Sans cursed. Did Sans think he's jealous since he eyed the Monster Kid family? Papyrus looks down at Sans, his brother's blushing more than usual. Papyrus hopes Sans gets sick from all this and doesn't bother giving any response. He thinks it's okay being silent for the first day.

[2ND DAY]

"huh... i should've realized snowdin was too cold for skinny dipping. let's go to waterfall- boss? what are you doing?" Sans said with alarm as Papyrus begins to remove his clothes. They were in an isolated area in the middle of Snowdin forest and there was an odd pond that is magically able to still retain its liquid form, but in freezing temperatures. Papyrus looks at his scarf and shrugs, bringing it with him for a swim.

"you got to be kidding with me?!" Papyrus heard his brother yell when he dives into the pond to see what was underneath it. Papyrus wasn't going to admit to Sans that he likes swimming in cold water. Touching cold objects is different from feeling the entire room change temperature. In short, Papyrus loves being in cold areas but likes touching hot objects to feel safe. Hot objects like coffee was nice. It also numbs the battle scars he got from the past as well as gives his SOUL a semi-equivalent to a Human heart attack.

"?" Papyrus swam back up, not because he needed to breath but to show Sans something he found on the pond's floor. It was a golden necklace. Blinking, Papyrus looks around the trees to find his brother gone.

"HE MUST HAVE LEFT..." Papyrus was about swim back to the ground until a hand drags him down. Looking down with wide eyes, Papyrus could have swore he had a lot of exclamation marks popping above his head when he saw crimson red eye lights and a wide grin below him. Fuck! Sans caught him off guard. Papyrus opens his mouth as he failed to shake the guy off. Sans was like a heavy bug, Papyrus exclaimed when he was able to reach the water surface, "LOSE WEIGHT WHY WON'T YOU?!"

...

"you are crazy." Sans confessed, both skeletons are huddled together soaking wet beside a fire made by Sans. Papyrus turns quiet, not sure if he should say: It runs in the family. Instead, Papyrus gave the golden necklace to Sans and looks away. Sans blinked and tilted his head to his younger brother's direction. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT... YOU KEEP IT."

"huh..." Holding it in the air, Sans whirled it in his phalanges. "i could pawn it and get more mustard."

"MUSTARD OR CRACK?" Papyrus looks over to Sans. Sans paused and looks at his brother seriously, "isn't it obvious? i'm getting more mustard!"

[3RD DAY]

"want some?" Sans asked, shoving popcorn to his face. Papyrus shoves it back and shook his skull vehemently. They were in a movie theater that was going to show a slash horror about mafia's and shit, but Papyrus was more worried about his dislodged left patella from their game of innocent soccer. He wasn't going to say anything of course, he was the Terrible Papyrus! He was not going to back down on his brother's petty games. Sans huffs his breath and ate his pop corn. It was even chocolate flavor. Papyrus remembers Undyne buying those for s'mores or when she's going to hang out with King Asgore. The guy likes to drink a lot of beverages...

After the movie, Papyrus could not sleep from the paranoia the movie's message sent him. Fucking mafia could be everywhere! Sans didn't share his sentiments, he was sleeping - Out like a light. Papyrus picked Sans up, glaring at the monsters eyeing his brother. He was starting to realize why Sans chose him to be his personal escort. 'TROUBLE MAGNET...'

...

"WHY ARE YOU WAKING UP EARLY NOW?" Papyrus cursed as he covers his whole body with a blanket. Sans was merciless, using his magic to flip the bed upside down. Struggling to get out of the bed, Papyrus vows in an unholy screech while Sans whistles out of his room to prepare simple breakfast of cereal. "PIECE OF SHIT! I'M MURDERING YOU AFTER THIS WEEK!"

[4TH DAY]

"...boss? you're awfully quiet. kant you say something, anything?" Sans voice sounded like a whine as they walked around the art museum. Aside from the fact the cold strategist is staring at morbid traumatizing portraits but not as scarring as the nude portraits of an idolized Mettaton, Sans has been begging for a response. Papyrus has nothing to say. His arms are sore from all the swinging in golf from this morning and his leg still hurts from yesterday's episode of soccer.

"?" Papyrus looks over to the science museum and looks back at Sans. Papyrus tilts his head as he sees Sans with his shoulders down and has his head bowed down. Picking the fluff on Sans' jacket, Papyrus dragged the skeleton to the area. This wasn't supposed to be about him. It was supposed to be about making this lazy bones enjoy his pitiful prize. After he sees the stars in his brother's eyes (That's something surprising and somewhat cute), Papyrus watched Sans become an eager mess. Following his brother wasn't an easy feat when the guy can teleport and create chaos, Papyrus had to be the one picking the tired skeleton up and head back home.

...

"WHY ARE WE CAMPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS?" Papyrus asked, looking at Sans as they were inside a tent created from cloth and twigs. Sans looks around and pulled out his flashlight, blinding the skeleton temporarily. "to tell horror stories."

"I HATE YOU." Papyrus confessed. His brother was being so childish or was Sans trying to redeem his childhood? Either way, Papyrus hoped this did not lead to tomorrow's physical activity. He can see ropes and stabbing items 'secretly' hidden by the lazy skeleton. After hearing very gruesome, horror stories involving ghosts, Papyrus laid awake in the tent with Sans snuggled against him. Hearing sounds from outside, Papyrus' eyes remained in fear the winter ghost would take their SOULS. Clinging to Sans, Papyrus doesn't know if he's doing this to protect Sans or reassure himself? 'FUCKING SANS AND HIS HORRIBLE STORIES.'

[5TH DAY]

"boss... uh you been here before?" Sans asked, trying once more to start a conversation. Both were in a dark cave somewhere in Waterfall. Above them were glittering stones stuck on the ceiling. It reminded Papyrus of the stars found in some books within the Royal Library. Looking down, Papyrus saw Sans walking on and stepping an echo flower as he goes on.

"YES. WITH A FRIEND..." Papyrus confessed, looking around to see if his friend is here. Apparently, he's not. The plant is often scared if he brings someone over to the echo garden, only popping out to greet him when he's alone.

"aww. boss has a friend aside from me, fish lips, mutts and scrap metal. how's the guy like?" Sans lies on the ground, yawning as he looks up at the stone ceiling with a smile. Scanning their area, Papyrus wondered if Sans hid here before since it was pretty hidden for most passerby. Sitting down beside the sleepy skeleton, Papyrus comments, "HE GIVES HORRIBLE ADVICE, POPS OUT IN THE MOST UNEXPECTED AREAS AND LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE AN ECHO FLOWER... I WONDER WHERE HE WENT?"

"wow... i didn't know you smoke weed-?!" Sans stopped and tried moving away as Papyrus decided to tickle the skeleton's rib cage. How dare this skeleton accuse him of such ACTS?! After Sans ran away to avoid his tickles, Papyrus had to do a marathon since this guy can do shortcuts because he was DETERMINED. Tired, that was when Papyrus found Flowey and had an idle chat. Sans was a dick. As soon as the guy realized he wasn't being chased, decides to uproot his acquaintance (THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS!) and drags it to his direction with unknown wrath filled in his eyes. Protective brother? That was the first or does Sans know Flowey? Papyrus had to persuade Sans that Flowey isn't manipulating him and had to wack the guy to his sense. 'Thanks Sans. This is why he doesn't have friends!'

...

Both got tired and Papyrus had to carry Sans back home. Lazy bone bag. Placing Sans down on the bed, Papyrus returned to his own room and opened his storybook for a short read. Again, Sans wakes up right after he thought the day could end. How is this happening?!

"give me the book." Papyrus threw his pillow in reflex, sitting up to see Sans grab the pillow in one arm and had an angry expression. Using telekinesis, Sans also snatched the storybook away before disappearing. Not his **Fluffy Bunny** Book! Papyrus screamed in his room. "GIVE THEM BACK!"

"beg for them!" Sans called back. Papyrus tsked, refusing to give in to this guy's orders but also wants his book back. After a few minutes, Papyrus stood up and went out. The Great Papyrus will not beg, he will... Crap. He forgot the conditions says he can't hurt Sans. Papyrus will! Sulk watching MTT's shows.

"b-boss?" Sans asked, peering out of his door in worry. He knows one of the conditions was that Papyrus can't bring him physical harm, but who said this world was fair? Sensing that the skeleton was downstairs, Sans peeked on the stairways to see Papyrus snuggled on the couch with his blanket, watching MTT's show. Sans looks at the story book and cursed himself, not really knowing how to approach his little brother if he wanted him to tell the bedtime story. 'damn it!'

[6TH DAY]

"boss? don't hoard the items. we're supposed to finish the game!" Sans was exasperated when both skeletons decided to play a game the older skeleton found in the dumps. It was called a PSP Station and Papyrus had to listen to Sans attentively to use the controllers. He didn't want to break anything, especially something that may be off value. Papyrus has doubts whether the game they'll play be fun until it came with a story plot and murder.

"I AM NOT HOARDING THEM, I'M SIMPLY KEEPING IT FOR FUTURE BATTLES!" Papyrus denies his brother's statement, pressing down to find more items to hoard. He even pillaged from the dead bodies. Sans had to make his character circle around his character just to move on. Both skeletons did not realize the whole day passed as they sat down the TV, playing the PSP game with a gigantic amount of brownies and booze. They also fell asleep together when the credits were rolling as if the game had absorbed some parts of their energy.

...

'ARH! MY HEAD-PLEASE TELL ME WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX.' Papyrus looks over to see Sans on top of him snoozing. Pushing Sans off him, Papyrus stood up found himself half naked. "FUCK ME."

"hmm?" Sans blinked blearily and looks down. "...keep it down pap- *stares at Papyrus* i swear we didn't do it."

"WE BETTER NOT. AH SHITTY TEMMIE FLAKES. I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE DRANK TOO MUCH LAST NIGHT!" Papyrus warns both himself and Sans as he heads to the kitchen. Wearing the apron, Sans' next question caused him to face palm at his haste. "so you're used to cooking naked huh? not complaining bro. in fact, you look sweet in that outfi-"

*BANG! *

"MY HANDS SLIPPED!" Papyrus declared throwing a frying pan at the skeleton who was peeking outside the kitchen. Papyrus looks down at his apron and frowned. It read WELLCUM HOME. "AND I AM DEFINITELY BUYING A NEW APRON AFTER THIS. STUPID DEMEANING MISSPELL..."

* * *

[POV UNDYNE]

[Final day]

"Catch!" Undyne got off from the boat and tossed gold to the River Person. Looking at the silent village, the Head of the Royal Guards was going to visit her Right hand for the excellent work towards the Snowdin Unit. As much as she didn't want to admit, everyone in the Snowdin Unit was working and not fucking each other off (more like killing each other off, but that's too boring). Undyne walked, looking from side to side, watching if there will be any surprise attacks from the Canines. They tend to try killing her as the days go by. Hungry for power and prestige is slowly getting to them yet it seems today was going to be a silent night. Strange...

'Here we go... In the skelebro's house-' Undyne was about to open the door when she heard the following conversation:

"SANS CAN WE NOT DO THIS?" Papyrus asked, despair mixed with wonder in his voice. Undyne was curious. What the two were doing in the middle of the night? Sans answered in a smug tone, "you newt i was gonna do this from the beginning!"

"NO... I DID NOT EXPECT THIS AND NO PUNS IN THE HOUSE OR I'M NOT TALKING... TSK. I'M STILL REGRETTING OVER MY DECISION IN ALLOWING YOU TO JOIN THE EXPERIMENT!" Papyrus must've said this with a frown, flinching from something. Sans laughs. "more like, you didn't expect me to win."

"THAT TOO! SO HOW DO WE DO THIS?" Papyrus asked. It turned silent for a few minutes (or they were whispering) before Sans comments. "h-hey boss? d-do you know the game we're playing coz you look like a natural? w-wait ah~ fuck! i-it's nothing... i'm fine. nothing's broken really! let's continue."

"I-I DO NOT, BUT YOU S-SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS FROM THE TERRIBLE PA-PAPYRUS! DAMN IT SANS! I ALLOWED YOUR PREVIOUS ACTIONS, BUT NOT THIS TIME! D-DON'T! YOU DARE PLACE YOUR HAND THERE!" She hears bone attacks being summoned and getting destroyed, Undyne hears Sans laughing. "pft. did it! i can't believe you're afraid of a lil' bone-to-bone touch."

"NO. YOU *HMMM* IS THIS REALLY HOW THE GAME GOES?" Papyrus asked with suspicion. Undyne squints her eyes, 'the fuck?' Sans responds. "i played this with grillby before-but! i stopped coz it's dangerous playing with fire."

"I SEE. UH SANS?" Papyrus' voice sounded strain this time. "O-OUR POSITION IS TOO TIGHT AND CLOSE? JUST MOVE ALREADY!"

"i'm getting there- fuck! that feels good." Sans sighs, but there was a loud thud. "ouch! don't kick me, boss. i was getting comfy with this position. aren't you happy i'm working?"

"NOT THIS TYPE OF WORK! HOW CAN YOU BE COMFORTABLE WHEN OUR POSITION IS AWKWARD?! YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. YOU MUST BE ENJOYING MY SUFFERING... DICK BAG!" Papyrus sounds like he's going to murder someone. No possibility of the doubt, it was Sans but... Undyne took a good step away from the door. Were Sans and Papyrus finally? No. Undyne couldn't be sure of herself. She knows Sans was the ranked best in the Snowdin unit given his wit and knowledge towards various organizations and individual, accomplishing the tasks in the shortest amount of time. She remembers stating this to Papyrus who fell down to his knees, eye sockets dark and despairing at the result.

"it's going to be fine~ you have no work for the whole week anyways." Sans persuaded and she heard another kick. Undyne begins to dig in her head if Sans told her anything in particular. Sans chose the usual: A vat of gold (to pay off Grillby), a supply of mustard and the skelebro's week of absence without work. What? Undyne didn't understand was the last part. Why would Sans want Papyrus, a workaholic, to do for a whole week without paperwork and patrols. Sans didn't disclose the detailed information to her, but to Papyrus. Papyrus didn't even talk to her about it so it must be personal matters.

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT ME HERE SANS... I DON'T NEED A VACATION." Papyrus sounds grim in the last word. Incentives were more of a prize that each unit will try to imagine, promoting their willingness to interact with the other. In her Unit's case within Hotland, Royal Guard 01 wants to eat out in this fancy restaurant, amnesty to Royal Guard 02's crimes in the past as well as have the dragon as his battle partner. If not, Royal Guard 02 should've died a long time ago. Thus, the superiors aren't supposed to have received anything from this but data. Sans answered back with much sarcasm. "we need some brother bonding, i think! ("YOU THINK?" possible sarcasm on Papyrus' remark) yeah. huh. this is gonna be awkward. good thing you're flexible, boss~"

"I REALIZED SOMETHING... SANS. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE-" Papyrus stated but Sans cuts it off, "don't question my life decisions."

"OK. CAN YOU MOVE YOUR FAT ARSE OUT OF MY WAY?" Papyrus voice sounds desperate but determined at the same time. Undyne was starting to piece things together. She knows Papyrus and Sans are together in one room, playing a game about physical contact. She also knows this is part of Sans' incentive, dragging Papyrus with him to do something unknown. Papyrus confessed he has never done this yet Sans has done this with Grillby. The two who met at a bar (probably) and did questionable things together which she actually wants to learn. Sans grew slightly annoyed. "no! jab it if you have to."

"DAMN IT. I'M GOING TO BE SORE AFTER THIS." Papyrus sighs. Undyne's eyes were wide open with a straight mouth, placing her fins closer to hear clothes shuffling. "Happy now, my sadistic brother?"

"nah. i want you to give in so i can fall asleep after this." Sans confessed, voice a bit shaky to symbolize his fatigue. Papyrus huffs a breath of air, "CORRECTION. YOU ARE A SADO-MASOCHIST AND YOU ARE TAINTING ME WITH YOUR DISTURBING WAYS."

"but we're having a fun time~" Sans cheered. Undyne couldn't take it. She doesn't know what the hell is going on. Fuck the awkwardness, she was busting in! Slamming the door, she saw two skeletons within a corner with the walls covered in white wallpaper with different colored spots. Papyrus was wearing a red sweater with black pants while Sans wore a black sweater and shorts. Startled, both skeletons fell from their position and was on the ground. Papyrus hissed while Sans groaned.

"What the fuck are you two playing?!" Undyne was glaring at the polka dots and then down to the two skeletons position. The two were really close to each other with Papyrus wincing in pain from Sans' weight below his legs. Sans grabbed a hold of Papyrus' pants as a support, sat up from his position and untangled himself from his brother's legs painfully (problems with being tall and skinny), even breaking a bone while he's at it. Papyrus wasn't even moving, his arms are in an odd position when he fell to the floor. Looking at her, Sans replied. "we're playing twister."

"Sans... You have no idea how much pain I plan on inflicting towards you after today." Papyrus was dead serious, but Undyne and Sans knows this guy doesn't really mean that. If you give him a cup of coffee or run away and come back after a few hours, Papyrus is going to forget about his grudges. However, that won't stop Papyrus from hurting Sans because of the skeleton's inadequacy towards his tasks. Undyne has no idea how Papyrus' mind reacted when he read the reports about Sans. It must be similar to tossing a grenade at a slab of stone or learning about his grades in Math which passed miraculously. Sans held his brother's leg and muttered. "as if you ever been nice to me..."

"What did you say-Ah! Fuck!" Papyrus' claws made a mark on the floor, wincing on how Sans mends back the right leg's tibia (Sans kind of broke it in two when he stood up) to its original position with blue magic. This was a temporary solution, not as good as green magic in terms of healing. Pure torture. Undyne asked. "Where did you get the game? For a second there... I thought you two were enacting foreplay."

"...like the usual, the dumps." Sans shrugged his brother's glare off as he walked to the couch and sat at the opposite side of Undyne, who was also sitting on the couch. Sans gave a good ten seconds to realize what she meant and stared at her with his eyes. "are you kidding with me? why would i screw my brother on the living room? i'd probably do him in the bedroom or in the basement which reminds me... we should tr-"

"SANS. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET REFRESHMENTS!" Papyrus ordered the skeleton, earning some verbal backlashes but Sans eventually left to the kitchen. Papyrus twists his dislocated arms and leg, but a fracture was a sensitive injury for him. Papyrus must be thinking on the lines it-might-get-worse-if-I-stand-so-I-will-stay-put-and-be-a-jackass. Papyrus also doesn't know how to heal very well, only able to heal paper cuts.

"UNDYNE... WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?" Papyrus asked, trying to play cool sitting on the corner as if he did this every day. Undyne bit her lower lip and went towards her pitiful second-in-command. Sitting down beside the skeleton, Undyne hovered her hand towards the severe fracture, healing it with green magic as she spoke. "Came to congratulate you for your win until I heard you two play 'twister' by the door! (She went closer to Papyrus and whispered) You sounded like you two were going to fuck."

"B-but then, I'd be the bottom because I don't know how so isn't that fucktastic? LET'S FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HEARD BEHIND THE DOOR AND CONTINUE YOUR PRAISING!" Papyrus looked down to see the cracks vanish. His voice turns into a whisper. "I didn't ask you to heal me, but do you mind healing my pelvis as well. It hurts like hell and Sans is being a dick."

"Don't mention it, literally. I don't want the Royal Guards busting in my door, asking for a free healing. You're my right hand so I gotta take care of you." Undyne replied back, seeing the skeleton feel embarrassed at the comment. Pulling Papyrus' pants down, there was indeed a visible crack. Placing her hand there, Undyne traced the crack over and over until it looked brand new. Papyrus was leaning his back on the wall, eyes trained on her hand as he tries not to fidget from her touch. She also noticed the house's atmosphere turned cold while she healed. Oh shit. Is touching this region equivalent to a tease for skeleton?

'Fuck.' Undyne moves her hand away and from her leaning-close-to-Papyrus position to sit-down-beside-Papyrus. Undyne turned her neck to face Sans. His stare was blank, not even a single light from his eye sockets. Papyrus also turns to face Sans, not thinking their previous position didn't look scandalous to his brother and asked with an interested expression on his face. "SANS. WHAT ARE THOSE?"

"i made it... for our **guest**." Sans comments, his red eye lights returned but it was very (very) small needle pricks. Sans didn't even make a pun when he saw them in that position... Undyne just knows Sans isn't happy. If she were in his place and saw someone touching Papyrus, she would already have summoned out her spear. However, they were both siblings to Papyrus so is that why Sans is holding back?

"OH. PLACE IT ON THE TABLE." Papyrus had a surprised expression when Sans placed the dish down. It was tacos. Both Papyrus and Undyne stood up, Undyne took a step farther and moved a good distance away from the Sans. The atmosphere isn't warming; she should get out while she can. Sensing a window behind her, Undyne slowly walks backward. "Hey! Look at the time, gotta visit my girlfriend... bye!"

"see ya." Sans grinned as she turned around and bashed the windows apart, running as fast as she can back home. She didn't even hear Papyrus calling for her, probably because the skeleton was glaring at his older brother.

* * *

[POV PAPYRUS]

"Why did you do that? Scaring Undyne I mean." Papyrus asked. Both skeletons were on the couch, he was hugging Sans close as they watched a replay of an episode he missed in the early morning because of Sans persistence that they try Sledding at a dangerous slope near their Sans' station. Sans nearly got himself killed, but he found the small skeleton having so much fun that he couldn't bear not smiling. In short, he was pathetic. Hopefully, Sans didn't see him smile or Sans will drag him around to do stupider stunts... Not like he hates doing those things, but Sans should know he has work to do!

"don't let anyone touch you there, papyrus..." Whenever Sans used his name, he means business. Was it because he saw Undyne healing him? But Undyne always heals him! He can't even go to any healer and he absolutely sucks in Healing because **The Academy** never taught them magic! Or was Sans thinking he was going to have sex with his superior... No. That will earn him the wrath of a hundred Mettaton army. Damn. Where was he going to learn how to have sex then? Mettaton-Wait. Sans seems to know whenever he goes to the celebrity. Double damn. And he was definitely not going to ask Sans... He just... doesn't want to bring that topic to his brother...

"I WON'T." Papyrus sighs and feels the fluff tickle his collar bone. He was even wearing a shirt, how is Sans' jacket fur ticklish?! Sans continues, "you don't want a dick coming out, don't we~?"

"... YOU KNOW WHAT? I should be heading back to my room and make more puzzle designs." Papyrus drops Sans to the couch as he stood up. He could read the spoilers of the episodes. No big deal. Walking up to the stairs, he could hear Sans call out. "come on boss! we already had the talk about the pussies and the cocks! now i gotta tell ya how skeletons work and do fuck!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY YELLING!" Papyrus screamed as he was already opening his door and slamming it closed. Sans voice can still be heard, "but we could have already fucked and we just forgot!"

"I SWEAR TO THE GODS WE DID NOT HAVE SEX ON THAT NIGHT!" Taking only a second or two to reach his room, the Terrible Papyrus does not need to know such useless information from his dirty, lazy brother who enjoys tormenting him as well as getting punished by him. Papyrus didn't want to lose his first time from being drunk. That was so low and... He'll push that issue later because he knows in all of his SOUL, they did not have sex. It's only in the movies where the characters do something stupid and fuck each other by accident. Papyrus covers himself with a blanket and closed his eyes...

...

..

.

"y-you need your bedtime?" Sans asked, looking down at his brother with an uncertain smile.

"..." Papyrus opened his eyes, frowning at how his older brother does a shortcut to enter his room. He didn't even hear Sans coming-That sounded so wrong. Oh god the green puns are permeating into his head. Papyrus curls closer to himself, looking to his pillow with a small in-denial voice. "YES."

"cute~" Sans teased, earning a pillow throw straight on the face by his younger brother. This time, he has two pillows, one as a spare in case he needs to throw one. Last time was embarrassing... Papyrus huffs and turns around to face the wall. Papyrus felt the side of his bed sink, Sans must be sitting down and opening his book to start the story. While the small skeleton told his story, Papyrus starts to succumb to sleep yet there were small voices lingering in his thoughts, bugging him.

_'Maybe you should ask someone to teach you how to heal?'_

_'But it can't be Undyne, she was born that way~'_

_'DON'T START SINGING PLEASE.'_

_'But I was born this way~'_

_'Gag him before he vomits babies!'_

_'What?!'_

_'I'm on it!'_

_'how about your bro?'_

_'NO! SANS IS GOING TO SLEEP ON YOU!'_

_'We need someone reliable.'_

_'Someone who won't give up on you.'_

_'Someone who knows how to fucking heal.'_

_'Someone...'_

_'Someone like Flowey!'_

_'Flowey?!'_

_'or do you mean floe?'_

_'NO! THIS WORLD'S FLOWEY!'_

_'He has a point! How about Flowey?'_

_'Yeah!'_

_'Go to Flowey!'_

_'Force him to teach you!'_

_'Don't listen to the aggressive voices, ask him politely.'_

'FINE. I'LL DO IT IF I MEET THE WEED SO SHUT YOUR TRAPS AND LET ME SLEEP.' Papyrus ordered his thoughts. This was a usual thing for the skeleton, having multiple voices bugging his decision before he commits his ACTs. They did, much to his relief. Before Papyrus slips to dreamland, he feels a cold touch on his forehead and hears a small clack followed with it.

"night paps." Sans said, tucking his blanket before leaving. Skeleton kisses are weird.

Wait.

Does that mean Sans was seriously not going to Grillby's or smoke his crack in exchange to torturing him with bizarre activities early in the morning for the whole week?

...

Thank god this week will end! Let Sans become an irresponsible, addicted mustard-loving drunkard he is, the Terrible Papyrus doesn't give a damn. He misses his Royal Guard work!

...

Why does it feel cold all of the sudden? He should probably open his eyes and-

...

?

"....!" Papyrus woke up to see Sans in his arms. He lets go of the skeleton and pushes Sans down to his red mat with a prominent blush on. Didn't Sans leave his bedroom?! OH MY GOD! How long has he been hugging that disgusting sweaty slime bag?! Sans groaned as he sat up, looking at him with sleepy eyes. Sans grinned, "hi boss~"

 

"GET OUT!!!" Papyrus' voice echoed out of the house and bone attacks followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were to notice Sans' locations, they are in fact dating sites because if you were to read Undyne's POV as well as Grillby's description in the story... Sans is a big shot in the Science Community and the Capital, well known by strangers and peers.
> 
> Sans doesn't know about brotherhood and is too used to Papyrus being... Papyrus!
> 
> Poor Papyrus never knew these areas were dating sites, not even able to have one monster ask him on a date because of his intimidating looks. Papyrus also doesn't know how to ACT within dating areas, turning very silent because he doesn't want to cause trouble. (Life dedicated to the job as a Royal Guard... Not that fun really) ^_^,


	2. In Between Scenes: Undyne's house, Royal Castle & Grillby's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We take out the extraordinary parts and I'll cut it into two parts to make it shorter looking. :D
> 
> *Undyne is a pretty decent character, having to worry and care for her allies.  
> *Papyrus has a lot of issues but tries to be mean while getting things together.  
> *Sans is very secretive and mysterious because no one knows of his past. [except Alphys]  
> *Alphys drags Mettaton everywhere if possible, having the guy as a lap dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [part 1]  
> Papyrus stares at Sans, booping him to wake up and get out of the couch. "Sans..."
> 
> "Move. I need the couch."
> 
> "Sans."
> 
> "That's it!" Papyrus sits on Sans and opens the television. Instead of feeling crushed, Sans opens his eyes and stares at Papyrus. Sans laughs, grabbing hold of the surprised skeleton's waist and drags him down to a lying position. Papyrus nearly falls, grabbing onto Sans' jacket. "next time boss, get some **meat** in those bones."
> 
> "As if I haven't tried that method! My weight isn't changing even if I eat a cart load of food." Papyrus drags Sans with him.
> 
> "you'd be the envy of a lotta girls." Sans laughs his head off at the mental image, but Papyrus ignores this unruly behavior in favor to watching the movie. He was not going to miss the once-in-a-life-time movie.

[Undyne's house]

 

**Usual conversation**

"Damn the bureaucracy!" Undyne screamed as she shook her hand in the air. Papyrus was on the floor sleeping soundly until the paper pile fell on him  _coincidentally_. Papyrus didn't respond, unaware of his impromptu premature burial. "Imprisoning us to do menial tasks for the sake of the proletariat; this is clearly an act against monsterkind! Don't you agree Papyru- Papyrus?! Where are you?"

*PUFF! *

"W-WHAT?!" Papyrus' skull popped out of the paper pile, surprised and struggling to get out of the finished load. They knew it was in a matter of minutes before the next batch appear, but they were tired and irritated. Undyne is clearly going to revolt if this keeps up, Papyrus and then the Royal Guards would follow next since they have a system entirely different from the rest. The Royal guard was like a mini-society with their designated positions based on merit. Right now though...

"We should request King Asgore to implement an authoritarian government like in those books! It would be cool since we can murder more monsters and oppress those idiots in the Capital." Undyne explained, twirling her sword around as Papyrus emerged (ungracefully) without tearing any sheet of paper. Papyrus looked down to see traces of his dust. He shouldn't have slept close to the table, Papyrus faced the hero to explain, "BUT WE WOULD HAVE TO START FROM SCRATCH! WHAT WE NEED IS TO CREATION REFORMATION WITHIN THE BUREAUCRACY, CHANGING THE SYSTEM INTO SOMETHING... SIMPLE YET DIFFICULT."

"Fuck no! It would take months before we can change the baseline of our documents and even then we would have to convert our documents into that format. I say we scrap it but to what?" Undyne sighs, heading to the window to check if the paperwork slave deliverer was coming. Papyrus is placing ointment on his paper cuts around his body, realizing the hidden stack of papers under the plate. "UNDYNE WHY?! I THOUGHT YOU FINISHED YOUR PART!"

"I did. I just forgot to show those to you since it needs both of our observations." Undyne looks to see Papyrus furiously scribbling to finish it. Undyne noticed a familiar  ~~bastard~~  delivery monster and warned her subordinate, "He's coming!"

"KILL HIM. I DON'T CARE IF THE NEXT ONE WILL BE FORCED TO BRING A HEAVIER LOAD THAN THE USUAL." Papyrus muttered, flipping and segregating the documents. Undyne shrugged and exited her house. Before the unfortunate monster could open his mouth, Undyne stabbed him dead (straight to the SOUL) and entered her house again. She sat on her chair, crossed her arms and yawned, "You pick the next batch when you're done."

"SURE SURE..." Papyrus continues to write as the semi-aquatic female falls asleep. This months’ worth of work is going to take a couple of days to finish.

 

**Brother visits**

"Sans! You piece of shit! It's too early for this!" Undyne screeched, holding Papyrus arms while Sans tugged his brother using blue magic. Papyrus was also clutching the door, unwilling to leave the house and travel to another. Sans tapped his sneakers before making a swishing motion, tossing Papyrus to the water far away. Sans glared at Undyne yet the small skeleton was amused. "it's been 6 months and you two have enough time to bond. papyrus is coming home with me, bitch."

"Do you honestly think Papyrus likes staying with you?" Undyne sneered and Sans' eye sockets turned blank temporarily before it returned with the sentry's smirk widening. "not at the least, but who said i can't change his preferences?"

"my bro's still so young, easily to manipulate and condition... as if i'd let him get attached with anyone, but me." Sans looks at his phalanges bored while Undyne stood at the doorstep in shock. The fuck did that shrimp say? Before she could ask, Papyrus returned as he squeezed his tattered scarf dry. "SANS! YOU TWAT! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KIDNAP ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? WHY CAN'T IT BE IN THE MORNING SO YOU WON'T GET KILLED WITH THAT MEASLY HP OF YOURS!"

"nah. i'd be taking your stuff in the morning so i gotta kidnap you now.. besides, what type of monster am i to kidnap my cool bro in the morning of his patrol?" Sans shrugged. Papyrus opened his mouth, but closed it from the compliment. "HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW WELL YOU DO AWAY WITH WORDS?"

"nope. it's the first. i should go and check the dicktionary later to improve my vocabulary." Sans grinned when Papyrus face palmed at his late night puns. "SANS S-"

"or if you want, i can cum to your bed." Sans was not stopping and Papyrus was starting to walk away, looking away from his older brother. "I DON'T KNOW YOU."

"...and dicktate some words before you sleep." Sans finished and Papyrus groaned in annoyance. Undyne simply watched the two interact. No matter how hard she tries, Papyrus doesn't believe anything that declares Sans to be dangerous. She knows Alphys warning her about Sans' psycho-physical traumatic experience with some unknown entity, but that didn't mean Sans was completely broken (Alphys believed). Broken monsters often lead to growth which is surprising when Sans didn't show any progress. Or is he hiding it? Papyrus rubbed his forehead, tired of waiting for his brother. "ENOUGH GREEN PUNS!"

"are you shore-" Papyrus walked away with his scarf on hand, declaring in a no-nonsense voice. "I'M LEAVING BEFORE I'M TEMPTED TO SLICE YOUR NECK."

"sure boss." Sans replied, summoning bones before Papyrus fall in the manholes. Deep down, Undyne knows this pimping alcoholic was bad news. Papyrus has no idea how dangerous that punk he calls  **older brother**  is. Sans salutes to the Head of the Royal Guard, smirking. "see ya."

"you better not hurt him." Undyne warned. Sans doesn't stop walking with his hands in his pockets, responding in an eerie tune. "same to you toots~"

 

**Taking care of the Other**

"Does Sans have to be here?" Undyne asked and Papyrus gave her a question mark before looking at his older brother wearing a red collar with matching leash. Undyne knew this was a trend for some monsters, but does Papyrus have to rub it in her face?

"ENEMIES BEYOND THE WASTELANDS ARE HARMING HIM WHEN HE'S AT HIS STATION. LOCALS AREN'T HELPING HIM EITHER, I HAD TO SAVE HIM BEFORE SANS TURNED TO DUST... THAT'S WHEN DOGARESSA SUGGESTED I USE A LEASH ON HIM..." Papyrus explained, writing the report as he goes on. Undyne continues to scrutinize Sans who was bandaged heavily. The thing bothering Undyne the most was why Sans wasn't fighting back? She knows the guy is strong but when did she think this guy was strong again? Why can't she recall anything??? Papyrus continues, placing the finished document on his right. "AND HERE I AM, WITH SANS."

"Can't he stay out?" Undyne asked, disturbed with the intense blank expression of the skeleton. Papyrus looks at the despondent skeleton, "I CAN'T. HE COULD GET DUSTED WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE."

"It wasn't your fault you weren't there Paps." Undyne pushed her butt lower and leaned her back on the chair. Papyrus shook his head, concerned and still guilty from the last incident. "IT'S CLEARLY MY FAULT, BUT I CAN'T ALTER THE SENTRY POSITIONS NOW. THE CANINE UNIT TOOK YEARS TO GET USED TO THEIR AREAS."

"But you don-" Undyne was cut off when Sans started wandering the room, entering Papyrus' room. "Why didn't you tell him to stay put?"

"BUT HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING?" Papyrus tilts his head when Undyne exhaled deeply. Undyne knew Papyrus was so used to the liberal system where you are free to get stronger or die, but this skeleton will need to alter his belief when it comes to a fragile monster. Undyne couldn't see what was happening in the vacant bedroom, but she's sure there's nothing going on there right? Undyne pats Papyrus' shoulder, "Even though, you should continue showing your dominance but to an extent of not dusting him."

"HE'S OLD ENOUGH!" Papyrus complained. If Papyrus had lived with Sans in a young age, Papyrus wouldn't be fussing about this. Fortunately for Papyrus, he didn't live with Sans when there was a huge load of child experimentation and hunger. Right now, they had a scarcity of FOOD in exchange of harsh living conditions and rules. Everything had an equivalent exchange. This was the law, next to the Kill-or-Be-killed principle.

"SANS?" Papyrus stood up when the collar stopped moving. Following the long red leash, Papyrus entered his past room. Undyne followed suit and both Royal Guards saw a sleeping skeleton on the bed, curled up in Papyrus' blanket. Undyne looked around the room. Everything looked undisturbed except for the bed. Papyrus blinked, turning around to continue his work. "LET HIM SLEEP THERE. IT'S BETTER THAN HIS EMPTY STARES CORRECT? HE'LL WAKE UP SOONER OR LATER."

"..." Undyne followed Papyrus, not telling him that Sans was muttering phrases under the blankets. She heard enough, Sans was having a nightmare. At least she knows she isn't the only one who has that FEAR. FEAR of seeing Papyrus getting killed just to SAVE them. FEAR of losing a comrade and brother? Undyne chuckles.

* * *

 [Royal Castle]

 

**[Secret] Royal Adviser**

"When will you finally declare your identity to the monster populace?" King Asgore asked his comrade, sitting down on his throne comfortably while sipping a cup of golden tea.

"..." The cloaked figure turned silent on this question and looked away. It seems this was still a sensitive topic, even if few years have passed since _the incident_. It was unpleasant...ly blank? Hmmm... Why can’t he recall the event well?

"It's fine if you do not wish to discuss such _personal matters_ today." Asgore frowned, placing his cup down on its saucer. He'll get him to talk someday, but it's best if the topic is not pursued today. They had important issues to discuss. The figure nods and changed the topic, discussing what must be done towards the cultivation ground for rebel groups. Caves, landscape and resources - Waterfall was the ideal place for guerrilla warfare. Something majority of the Royal Guards are not adapted to. Asgore doesn't even need to use all of his fingers to do the math.

"we'll have to change tactics soon, the image of the royal guards are starting to dwindle." The figure sips on the tea with an absent stare. Asgore agrees, Undyne and co were starting to become trigger happy whenever domestic violence ensues yet are restricted by laws declaring **not to do senseless killing**. The Royal Guards are supposed to be the ideal combatant units in the Underground. They are the ones who will defend the Kingdom in case foreign invaders attack, such as Humans. All they need is one more Human SOUL and they will finally reach the Surface. Monsterkind will finally exact their revenge towards their long-time oppressors: Humanity.

"hell! even our own allies don't rely on them." The figure laughed, smiling at the idea. Speaking of nobles, those fools were mentioning about the increasing rate of hostage taking in the past few weeks. Hiring private armies to handle the issue instead of discussing such matters to him, they failed spectacularly when the money they supplied were sent to the rebel groups instead. All that gold. Wasted.

"No offense, but who needs trust when you can force the idea on them in this Kill-or-be-Killed world?" Asgore sips his tea after the statement, annoyed when the memory resurfaced. He was the King! All of his subjects should direct their concerns to him, not act upon 'common' logic. Yes. He understands the difficulty of assigning tasks to monsters in their scarce supply of good warriors (Private armies seem to know where and how to get the better ones). It was a relief when Mr. Gerson brought out a group of skilled fighters upon his wake. Unfortunate really, Mr. Gerson would often tell him off for being to cruel to the flowers. They're dead now... Or are they?

"i'm sure tighter patrol routines in exit, entrance and major travel points are enough to delay the attacks, but we'll need to handle the issue as soon as possible. who knows what they're doing with the funds?" The Judge placed the cup down on his lap, resting his back on the chair. Asgore raised an eyebrow. This was not expected. Is that an ounce of MERCY promised in those words? The Judge noticed the King's odd stare and scoffed. "don't get me wrong, impromptu search operations as well as intel gathering are effective and all, but you gotta admit. our enemies are equipped with sufficient man power and resources. The cartels are also working with them coz of the captives."

"i wasn't saying anything..." Asgore smiled when he heard his ally laugh. The Judge stood up, yawning. Walking out of the throne room, Asgore asked out of curiosity (more like a confirmation). "Please tell me you told your brother about your job."

"...nope." The figure grinned and closed the door before the King could respond.

**The Proposal**

"..." Undyne fidgets under the tense air between her and the King. Asgore was looking at the proposal with his blood red eyes, scanning it with an unreadable expression. Flipping it to the next page, Undyne can see the pictures drawn by Papyrus on the flipped pages. Oh god. It looks so unprofessional, why did she do this again-? Lack of sleep... Damn. She didn't read the document when she marched to the Royal Castle. All she did was submit it, but she's sure it's informative judging on what they talked about in the house. The Royal advisers beside the King looked expectantly, also having read the proposal.

"...." Undyne really hates those punks. All of the advisers are from the elite class, having lost Mr. Gerson a long time ago because... King Asgore was left to hear the higher class' opinions, leaving the weaker classes to fend for themselves. King Asgore finished reading, looking up and moving his head to look at both sides.

"I wish to discuss this with my General in private." King Asgore ordered. Some of them argued, but was silenced upon the sound created when the trident's end hit the ground. Asgore's aura was indeed terrifying, dispersing the monsters and closing the door. After they were gone. Both King of the Underground and Captain of the Royal Guards relaxed. Undyne loosened her stance, already used to the monster's demeanor. King Asgore fanned himself using the paper. "Undyne?"

"Yes your majesty!" Undyne bowed. Asgore shook his head at the formality and placed the paper to the side. The furry individual chuckled, "How did you come up with such a plan? It brought those nobles quivering to their toes. So desperate they were, that they included the crude drawing as a rebuttal against the system!"

"It was at the spur of the moment. The Royal Guards has noticed the continuous corruption permeating in the wage system, thus the proposal." Undyne was looking down, hoping her lies would work. In truth, both officers plan on abolishing paperwork but still! The King knew she was lying though, but instead of a berating his right hand, Asgore laughed. "Arrange the necessary requirements for this project. I wish to see it's effects on my kingdom as soon as possible!"

"Wait what?" Undyne double take. He accepted it. The King accepted it. Asgore yawns, looking down at the floor covered in dying golden flowers and blood. Asgore stood up, ready to grab some golden tea she supposes. "Do you wish me to repeat my sentence or are you ready to perform your duty?"

"N-no My King. I will initiate the program immediately!" Undyne bows one last time before heading out. However, King Asgore called out taking his time walking out of his throne room. "Oh yes! Don't forget to deliver Muffet's resources upon your monthly report tomorrow."

"Whatever you say old man!" Undyne grinned, when King Asgore complained with the nickname. Between the two of them, formalities be damned.

* * *

[Grillby's]

 

**Denial**

"i said **n o .** " Sans glared with his left eye glowing red, stabbing the monster with orange and blue bones. The monster didn't realize there was more blue than orange, dying when it tried to get out of the colorful attack combo. Grillby watched, cleaning the glass cups. It seems one drunk customer wasn't in the mood for any advances. Sans went back to his usual spot, stepping on the dust of the other offenders within this week. Drinking his mustard, the small skeleton hums and rests his skull on the table. Grillby peered over to his patron, raising an eye brow. " _Can you not kill them next time. I need them for revenue._ "

"what does undyne have that i don't?" Sans wondered, moving his mustard with his hand. Grillby turned silent. For one, Undyne has: status, money and near BOSS LVL STATs. Undyne also has a terrifying reputation in the Underground and a complete she-beast in BATTLE. Grillby didn't state anything, unsure how he'll say that because all monsters are unique. While it's true Undyne had all those assets, Sans was a different matter altogether. Sans may not have status, money or a boss LVL, but he has SKILLS, Knowledge and looks. A look of utter uselessness, coupled with 1 HP will often lead most monsters to let their guard down. The amazing fact here was how everyone seems to know Sans as a multi-worker and nothing else, forgetting the fact he was the ex-Royal scientist- He is spazzing about Sans again. Fuck! Why can't he stay angry at this... this pathetic monster? Grillby asked as neutral as he can. " _What made you say?_ "

"papyrus compares me with her." Sans mopped, eye lights staring at the table. Grillby  ~~advised~~   ~~suggested~~  asked, " _How about abandon him? He doesn't seem to need you._ "

"..." Sans was quiet, thinking over his opinion. The fire elemental rests his hand on the table, tapping it with his fingers. That's it. Forget about Papyrus and realize his freaking available status?! Let his daughter be damned, Sans was more interesting compared to her bitching. ' _I can **take care**  of you! Why can't you understand that?_'

"i'm not sure..." Sans gave a grin, eyes closed, "he's still my baby bones."

" _He's as tall as the deceased tree outside and he has a salary larger than yours._ " Grillby counters and waits for Sans to digest it. The fire elemental pressed, " _Who knows? Maybe Papyrus sees you as a burden, always needing to head back and protect you from enemies, not that I mind your uncanny luck._ "

"but.. but." Sans hugged his mustard. Well this was working. Grillby looks around and seeing the coast clear (no Papyrus), he goes out of his area and sits on the chair besides Sans. Rubbing the skeleton's back in a circular motion, the fire elemental cooed, " _He doesn't even ask anything from you. If I recall, all Papyrus does is curse your weakness and actions. You know you didn't do anything wrong so why is he like that?_ "

"because i'm weak and i deserve it." But Sans' eyes were eyeing him dangerously. Grillby continues to sooth the skeleton, slightly excited at the risk of getting into a FIGHT. Sans was playing with fire; an ex-combatant rearing to have the small skeleton in his possession.

" _But it wasn't your fault, was it?_ " Grillby sensed the Sans shoulder slumped a little with his eye sockets closed, being able to lean closer for a kiss on the forehead emitted no response. Sans murmured, tired with all the alcohol in his system to boot. "probably was. f-fuck! grillbz you're too  **hot**  for me."

" _you'll get used to it later._ " Grillby kissed the exposed neck as he turned and pushed Sans to the table as gently as he can. If he turns too violent in his ministration, Sans would literally bone him. Sans slightly flinches at the touch, relaxing as the bartender whispered reassuring words of comfort. “ _Do you want me to continue?_ ”

"..." No response. Sans lowers his DEF (mentally. Physical doesn’t matter when you have a skeleton like Sans), simply giving him a blank stare. However, before Grillby could begin, the door suddenly burst open and the elemental was immediately dragged to the ground gripped in a blue attack. Looking at the offender with a growl, Grillby watched Papyrus barged in his restaurant, picked his brother up and strides out of the bar.

" _Fucking Papyrus!_ " Grillby hissed when the slammed door shattered its frame. The customers were looked at the scene in interest before returning to their conversations.

 

**Siblings**

"GUYS. PLEASE CALM DOWN." Papyrus has his eyes moving from left to right as Sans and Undyne screaming at each other. Grillby comes back with the food, seeing the trio together. Oh Seraphim below! Why is Undyne and Sans talking about politics in his bar? Papyrus was sitting beside Sans, drinking his milkshake ordered by the smaller skeleton.

"GRILLBY. WHAT MUST I DO?" Papyrus inquired, crossing his arms as the two continued to bicker. Okay. Sans and Undyne are discussing on what should have been done towards prisoners of war and the hostages held by those terrorist groups by the Wasteland. Sans states complete obliteration and consider the victim as collateral damage since the insurgents have been here for far too long. Yet Undyne fusses over the decrease of nobility support and the violation of laws in the system if ever they do so, urging they should try to extend time to pinpoint the locations of the true masterminds. This wasn't going to end well. Grillby looks at Papyrus already done with his second milk shake before pointing in between Undyne and Sans. " _Papyrus. I want you to sit in between them. Don't ask. Just do it. I want to see what happens._ "

"OK?" Papyrus decides to awkwardly sit in between them. Undyne and Sans pause. Undyne eyes were wide open, one being more misty than the other. Sans' frown turned into a smile, unable to stop himself from asking, "boss.... w-were you bonely?"

"N-NO! GRILLBY TOLD ME TOO!" Papyrus pointed at the whistling fire elemental. Undyne couldn't help but smile, covering her face as she did so. "OH COME ON! WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!"

"it's okay boss." Sans shook his head, resting his elbow on the table to smile up at his younger brother. Papyrus glared down at him. "we didn't mean to leave you out of the equation."

"While we're in the topic of **math,** I recall you have to do an analytical financial report for tomorrow's meeting." Undyne couldn't help but laugh as Papyrus stood up with a solemn tone. "INSTEAD OF WASTING MY LIFE HATING BOTH OF YOU, I'LL START THE ANALYSIS NOW!"

"no. boss! fuck" Sans' smile fell as Papyrus began to walk out. Holding onto the skeleton's scarf, the smaller skeleton was dragged along. "ask for help damn it! you have abysmal grades in math!"

"I AM NOT GOING TO BEG TO THE LIKES OF A COMEDIAN!" Papyrus screamed as both skeletons were outside. Undyne shrugged, placing the money on the counter as she stood up. Grillby watches the female leave and weighs the bag of gold. " _Good enough._ "

 

**Sexual Drive**

" _Aside from shitty appearance and attitude, what forces Sans towards you?_ " Grillby sips his own drink, sitting beside Papyrus in the after hours. Both knew Sans was doing his comedy stunts at this hour and it's been so long since they talked one-on-one. Papyrus placed his coffee drink down, pondering as well... Or maybe not. "I'M BEING HONEST HERE. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT."

" _You piece of shit. It's been years since we last talked a decent topic and that's what you're going to say?!_ " Grillby cursed, but half-laughed. Papyrus moves his skull from left to right, weighing his choices boggled in his skull. "WELL. IF YOU WERE TO ANALYZE THE SITUATION, I'M CLEARLY THE ONE WHO FORCED SANS IN TAKING ME."

" _How did you force him?_ " Grillby tapped the table, hoping against all odds Papyrus knows what they're talking about. Papyrus picks another experimental drink on the counter and drinks it, sticking his ecto-tongue out in disgust of the odd taste. "URGH. HORRIBLE BLEND! OH RIGHT... MY VERY PRESENCE SYMBOLIZE SANS' REPRESSED PAST WHICH HE NEEDS TO OVERCOME OR ACCEPT AND STUFF."

" _Your presence forced Sans to accept you for mental concerns, but in return you are forced by Sans to accept his existence for economic military concerns._ " Grillby muses, but frowns. " _You're making it look like a circular argument. The term **force** is different when both parties are **benefiting** the other._ "

"IT'S DIFFICULT TO SAY..." Papyrus stirs his drink, wondering if this one would taste well. Ever since that day with the SOUL bond, everyone in Snowdin knows the skeleton brothers have created a **connection**. Yes. This helps when Sans in in mortal trouble because of his off-guard moments, but he can't tell Grillby the truth. The truth where Sans has a lot of near **fall** status. Papyrus himself doesn't know why Sans doesn't want to die now, after learning of his existence. What sort of bond did they have before in the Laboratory? Must be important enough for him to unconsciously lift Sans off his supposed-death status. 'FUCK SHORT-TERM MEMORIES.'

" _Are you trying to say Sans has a kink for incest?_ " Grillby asked, but the fire elemental wasn't going to judge. All he needs to know is how to effectively pin the cause for future renovation. Papyrus crossed his legs, thinking. "NO. SANS DOESN'T SHOW ANY BEHAVIOR THAT LINKS TO **THAT TYPE OF KINK** , MORE ON MASTER-SLAVE RELATIONSHIP."

" _You let him call you Boss._ " Grillby points. Papyrus defense his stance, "THE ENTIRE CANINE UNIT AND SEVERAL OTHER DIVISIONS OF THE WORKING FORCE CALL ME BOSS. SANS MUST HAVE TAKEN THE HABIT OVER TO DAILY ACTIVITIES, KNOWING THAT HE IS LIVING WITH A **HIGHER AUTHORITY** TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN."

" _Hold your ego for later, tell me more about his preference._ " Grillby waves the skeleton off, puffing out smoke as he stares at the Second-in-Command. Papyrus looks down at the empty glasses beside the bartender and smirked, "NYEH HEH. YOU'VE SPENT MORE THAN FIVE YEARS WITH THE SKELETON AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T TAMED SANS!"

" _Shut the fuck up. You're **not mature enough** to understand the common problems of converting best friends into lovers. It's way harder than converting strangers, allies, enemies and friends into sex-Fuck buddy._ " Grillby held his tongue before the cat got out of the bag. Can't have Papyrus find out his supportive of the Sex Slave industry or Papyrus is going to see him in a different way, changing their relationship forever. Papyrus nods, understanding. "TRUE. HMM..."

"BDSM SEEMS TO CATCH HIS ATTENTION, FIGURING IT OUT AFTER WITNESSING SANS DELIBERATELY DISOBEYING MY ORDERS TO GET TORTURED. WHAT TRIGGERS HIM? I'M NOT SURE. HE SEEMS ADAPTABLE TO A LOT OF SEXUAL KINKS. STRANGLING, SEXUAL ABSTINENCE, MASOCHISM, PUBLIC HUMILIATION, LEATHER, CHAINS, SLEEPING, TAKING A BATH, TEXTING, DIRTY TALK-" Papyrus rants on as if this was a normal thing to do towards siblings. Papyrus must be doing this with Undyne in the past or from social peers who give him absurd ideas. Wait! Grillby listens to the activities and had to ask without meaning to exclaim.

" _Wait you did **what**?!_ " Grillby stares at Papyrus. Papyrus tilts his head, Grillby remembering how this monster (though trained to be evil) to dissociate himself from his actions. What has the military done to this bastard?! Train Papyrus on effective bondage techniques. Should he have to learn from the military school? That was sarcasm, but he might take it if this was true. Papyrus yawns, done with the last drink and opted to indulge with a chocolate milkshake. "IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT. METTATON TELLS ME IT'S AN EFFECTIVE WAY OF DISORIENTING YOUR ALLIES AND FOES WITH YOUR HIDDEN INTENT. THOUGH ABOUT THE MUNDANE ACTIVITIES.... I CAN'T POINT THE APPROPRIATE SOURCES OF PLEASURE."

" _Answer truthfully, has Sans asked you to help him on his HEAT?_ " Grillby pats Papyrus' head, Papyrus shoos the gloved hand and replies, "NO."

" _Have you two had sex?_ " Grillby asked, Papyrus crossed his arms. "NO."

" _You are torturing him. Give me permission to take care of him._ " Grillby reveals, unsure why he's relieved to know Sans abstained instead of go fuck the younger skeleton. That means he has a chance, but how pent up is Sans right now? Papyrus gives a knowing smile (This Royal Guard has no idea). "TORTURE IS A NORMAL THING HERE, BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT YOUR OFFER."

"( _Fucker._ ) _Wrong door._ " Grillby curses under his breath as the two stood up. It was near closing time and Sans would be heading back home soon. Good news, Papyrus can walk but he lacks direction = standing at the fire EXIT. Papyrus turns around and shows his hands, "I'LL GET THERE IN MY OWN PACE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

" _Don't die on me. I need your gold._ " Grillby looks at the time. His daughter better be in her room or else! Papyrus hums his theme song as he EXITS.

 


	3. In Between Scenes: Snowdin Forest, Skeleton's house & Shopping district.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Made it look shorter yay~ Oh and if you want more behind the scenes, please wait for the updates on this story called:
> 
> [Underfell] How do you even do a Date?
> 
> No worries, it's exactly the same title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [part 2]
> 
> "you look like you realized you wasted your life, boss." Sans entered the house, only to see Papyrus on the floor sulking as the credits flowed down the screen. Papyrus' aura was also very dark, near despair state. Sans scratched his back and heads over the Papyrus area, giving a pat on the back. "no worries. at least you know butter."
> 
> "You are lucky killing you won't satisfy my anger Sans." Papyrus whispered and Sans decides to head to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, Sans calls out. "you want me to cook, boss?"
> 
> "..." No response. Sans shrugged holding the food items in his arms. "if you say so."
> 
> ...
> 
> "SANS. YOU... YOU! YOU CAN COOK PRESENTABLE FOOD!" Papyrus gasped, eyes wide in utter shock. Right in front of him... Was food! Sans ate his food, smirking, "no shit sherlock. now eat before it gets cold."
> 
> "VERY WELL!" Papyrus sits down and ate the food, staring at the food for a while. Sans turned a bit tense, unsure if Papyrus would lash out on him after that Movie despair state. It was the first time he's seen Papyrus do that so...
> 
> ...
> 
> "IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER." Papyrus comments and Sans let out his held breath. Wait a minute! skeletons don't need to breath! Sans doesn't know how to feel with this. "SANS?! WHAT'S WRONG?! DID YOU POISON THE WRONG DISH?"
> 
> _Why was Papyrus thinking he would kill his own brother. That was preposterous._
> 
> "pft." Sans laughed at that one. Papyrus looked closer, "OH. YOU ONLY WANTED TO SMELL THE FOOD THEN?"
> 
> _Even if his brother hurts him, Papyrus will always be his cinnamon roll brother._
> 
> "OR YOU FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY EATING...." Papyrus face palmed, "YOU BETTER CLEAN YOUR FACE LATER."
> 
> _let's change that to a sinnamon roll, shall we?_
> 
> "k." Sans' smile widened.

[Snowdin Forest]

 

**I Don't Understand**

"WHAT MADE YOU STAND UP AND ACT EVERY DAY?" Papyrus asked, staring down at Sans. Sans looks up, falling down to the snow as he yelped in surprise at his superior. Intently gazing at him, Papyrus would usually drag him down on the Snow and berate him or physically hurt him to wake him up and as punishment for his laziness. Asking was a different approach; it showed willingness to know more about the individual; this was something Sans hated, but Papyrus will hurt him if he doesn't answer. "the usual stuff."

"WHAT IS USUAL FOR YOU?" Papyrus' gaze went from his fallen brother to the station's condition. It looks like a food stand for some strange reason. Sans stood up, scratching his elbow. "what brought this topic out of the blue?"

"I'M THEORIZING YOUR PERFORMANCE IS MOTIVATION-BASED. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK AS A SENTRY, THEN QUIT. YOU STILL HAVE OTHER JOBS AVAILABLE. YOU CAN EVEN START A HOBBY SO WHY ARE YOU FORCING YOURSELF TO WORK HERE?" Papyrus didn't understand why Sans flinched on those words. He was speaking the truth. If you are unmotivated and also weak (which Sans is both physically if caught off-guard and mentally if in terms of MERCY-giving rates) but has other jobs which can supply income, why force yourself? Besides, Papyrus is paying half (or even more) of the utilities and resources of their home. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU."

"..." Sans doesn't comment, unsure how to explain this to the energetic skeleton. He's just really sleepy. _Someone_  told him it was because of his energy reserve.  _Someone_  told him it was because of the experiment from back then.  _Someone_  told him it was his fault for being this way. Papyrus crossed his arms, eye lights staring at Sans before looking down at the mustard container on the counter. "IF YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO RESIGN, I CAN DO IT FOR YOU UNLESS YOU WANT A REASSIGNMENT TO A SAFER PLAC-?"

"no!" Sans butts in, eyes wide in fear. "please... b-boss i-i'll do good next time! pl-please no..."

"..." Papyrus doesn't understand. He just doesn't. Snowdin was one of the dangerous areas, next to Waterfall. The Royal Castle was the safest areas for reassignment. The only problem you have there are the lecherous greedy nobles which can **easily be handled** through the act of self-defense. But Sans is smart enough to handle those fuckers, why was Sans worried? Papyrus frowns, 'WHAT POSSIBILITIES CAN THERE BE FOR SOMEONE TO BE UNMOTIVATED IN WATCHING OVER HUMANS OR TRESPASSING ENEMIES?'

"THEN **ACT** WELL. THE KING WILL BE VISITING THE VARIOUS UNITS AND I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE." Papyrus turns away and walks back to his puzzles. He doesn't understand. He should understand! He was the Terrible Papyrus, the most manipulative strategist in the Underground. Papyrus grits his teeth. Flowey says he can understand Sans if he simply opens up to the possibilities and sees things in Sans' perspective. That's the thing. Sans is in a different plane all together. Sans knows something and decides to keep it to himself, for better or worse. Speaking of Flowey, there he is. Papyrus feigns ignorance.

"How did it go?" Flowey asked, smiling with his petals slightly injured. It looks like burn marks. Strange. Very few monsters can produce that quality of flame magic, Grillby was one of them. Papyrus responds as he pushes the snow puff. "I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND."

"coz you're a dummy! Why can't you see Sans cares for you?" The golden flower complains. Papyrus looks at the flower and rubs his face scar. "THAT'S THE THING I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE SANS IS NEVER THE TYPE TO SHOW CONCERN TO THE LIKES OF ME, HIS TORMENTOR."

"Not always!" Flowey was defending him. Strange. Papyrus throws a snowball at the flower, hearing the high pitch scream upon impact. "MOST OF THE TIME."

"You are unbelievable!" Flowey shook his head. Papyrus crossed his arms, frowning more than he should. "AND I SHOULD BELIEVE A FLOWER WHY?"

"Touche." Flowey pouts (Flowers can pout?!) as he looks at the puzzle piece. Papyrus does a mock bow, grinning. "WHY THANK YOU."

 

**Your type**

"OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHAT'S YOUR TYPE?" Papyrus looks at Sans as the five individuals held a picnic beside the frozen lake. Mettaton was fixing the food while Undyne and Alphys were focused on analyzing the insides of the frozen lake. Papyrus and Sans were standing, watching the event unfold. Sans has his hands in his pockets, staring at the food. "if you tell me yours."

"HERE'S THE THING! I HAVE YET TO MAKE A PREFERENCE. I KNOW THIS IS AN EMBARRASSING REVELATION FOR ME, THAT'S WHY I NEED TO FILL IN THE BLANKS." Papyrus remarked, walking forward when Mettaton waved his hand towards them. Undyne, Alphys and Mettaton brought sandwiches and noodles. Why is there noodles? Not sure.

While Papyrus made chocolate sandwich cookies (filling is cream), some simple soup ("i don't think it's simple boss." "SHUT UP SANS."), macaroni salad and tarts ("with decor..." "ONLY FOR THE BEST!") which wasn't much now that Papyrus thinks about it. Undyne and Alphys also went forward, looking at the food. Alphys stares at the desserts of the skelebros, "Papyrus... Are you sure you're not wife material?"

"He learned to love cooking from me." Undyne was smug, but Papyrus wanted to change the statement "from me" to "because of me." Undyne always overcooks things and they have to eat black coal things. Sure it can heal you, but the taste was... indescribable! Undyne took a sandwich and chomped on it. Mettaton was the one who tries the tarts. Mettaton turned silent, speechless. Papyrus gives thanks. "I APOLOGIZE IF THE TART RECIPE YOU GAVE ME WAS INACCURATE SINCE I HAD TO EDIT SOME MEASUREMENTS."

"Don't give him credit. Mettaton's tarts were synthetically made. It tasted horrible." Alphys was trying everything. Undyne and Papyrus took their respective cup noodles and begins slurping their noodles. Why was Alphys' noodles taste better than the market's commodities? Sans was eating a sandwich, but with the soup. "don't give either of them credit. papyrus had to wake me up in ungodly hours just to let me taste his food."

"It's either you or the beggars outside. I know, I refused once." Undyne said as she reached forward to get some tarts. Did you know fruits were a common commodity sold in the black market. It was scarce and hard to grow. Papyrus continues to eat his noodles as Alphys reached for the cookies. Hmm... Papyrus stares at the lizard's frame. 'I SHOULD HAVE CHANGED THE FOOD RECIPES IF I HAD KNOWN BETTER.'

"It's so good. I'm so sorry." Mettaton looks like he's going to break down as he tries to other FOOD items. Papyrus continues to slurp, uncaring about the robot. Undyne turned silent, suddenly remembering the last topic. "Oh right. Papyrus. You're type would be someone who likes puzzles and lasagna. What else?"

"someone he can relate to, trust with his SOUL." Alphys was eyeing Sans. Undyne pulled Alphys back to look at her, giving a kiss as the redhead held her chin. Mettaton gives a mischievous smile. "Papyrus... Have you considered the option of speed dating?"

" **No**." Undyne, Sans and Papyrus said at the same time. All three having a different aspect in this term speed dating. Papyrus takes a bite of his tarts and asked, "HMM... NOW THAT I'M OUT OF UNDYNE'S AUTHORITY, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO NOW."

"...SANS. NO. YOU ARE NOT TO INTERFERE!" Papyrus glared at his smirking brother. Undyne wonders who's worse: Physical or mental restraints, because Sans is definitely restraining Papyrus with psychological means or is it through indirect intervention? That's... a lot of work. Well. Sans wanted to take care of the skeleton so she should've expected some changes... Sans hums, "who said i would interfere~?"

 "Don't be darling~! I'll be there if you need me." Mettaton winks at Papyrus, causing the taller skeleton to get flustered. Covering his face, Papyrus did not see Sans (who was beside him) breaking and raising ice spikes in the air. The robot stood up, alerted at the threat as the spikes aimed at his specific location. Break into a run, Mettaton was chased with ice spikes until he was off sight, Undyne thinks. Alphys treated it as if Sans had always done those type of ACTs. Undyne wonders who else has Sans been tormenting with his secret abilities? Papyrus looks up, curious why one of them were missing. "WHERE DID METTATON GO?"

"He had to charge his batteries. We didn't bring it here." Alphys gave a smirk as Sans rests his head on Papyrus' arm. Papyrus looks at Sans and tries to remove the cookie from the skeleton's mouth, telling the skeleton not to sleep with food in his mouth. Undyne grabs for another soup jar, sipping. "We should set up a dating simulation later."

* * *

 

[Skeleton's house]

 

**Brother intrusion [prt 1]**

"?" Papyrus knew something was wrong when he woke up. One, it's awfully cold today (usually warm in his room considering his SOUL). Two, he's stiff because of the lack of movement or awkward position he's in. Three, he's feeling itchy. Papyrus slides his phalanges down to this spine for a good scratch, only to feel a clinging appendage blocking his midsection. Frowning, the skeleton trailed the arm and felt the fabric of the jacket he gave Sans. Papyrus lifts the blanket, looks down and faces his snuggling brother asleep and oblivious of his intrusion. "WHY?"

"..." Sans didn't respond, eyes still closed and snuggling close to him. Urgh. The itch must be coming from the dirty jacket Sans still wears. He knows this must be Sans' first gift, but he needs to clean it. Papyrus plans to tie the skeleton up and steal it on laundry day. Papyrus tries to move his legs, blinking when he realized Sans was situated in between his legs. Sans was hugging his pelvis. Of all the places it had to be, it was the pelvis. At least he was wearing shorts... Strange. Why was Sans in between his legs? Maybe Sans crawled in the room and... Papyrus’ eye sockets turned dark.

"SANS! WAKE UP!" Papyrus screamed, causing the small skeleton to jolt awake and let go immediately in confusion. Eyes wide in shock, Sans moved away from the suspicious skeleton and fell of the bed. Papyrus couldn’t help but smile, something Sans did not see because the taller skeleton wore the annoyed mask once more.

“WHY WERE YOU IN MY ROOM- ON MY BED HUGGING ME?” Papyrus squints menacingly at the stunned skeleton. Sans looks down, submissive and yet confused as well. Sans was muttering; Papyrus' glare intensifies. “LOUDER!”

“i don’t know.” Sans confessed, closing his eyes as if ready to accept his punishment. Papyrus frowned, scratching the back of his neck. Looking away from the more confused smaller skeleton, Papyrus remembers Undyne entering his room as well and stating the same reason. It must be those nightmares again. Papyrus has never experienced real dreaming. It was usually flashbacks of the past so Mr. Gerson told him to man up. Handle your own problems, don’t worry your allies. Sans stood up, quivering. “b-boss?”

“If you knew me better, would you really place yourself in my bedroom?” Papyrus asked with his hand covering his mouth, analyzing how the small skeleton blushed. Sans was awfully perverted for a Scientist. Wait. Everyone’s perverted here, how could he forget? Papyrus continued. “Get your skull out of the dumps! I mean I might dust you!”

“hahah. got me there.” Sans yawns (how long has Sans been sleeping in his room?) and begins to walk out of the room. “but i’m sure you won’t dust me.”

“AND WHY WOULDN'T I?” Papyrus stretches. Now that he’s awake, he should start his daily routine and finish optional task before the day ends. Night time isn’t really the best time for movement when there are nocturnal monsters with extraordinary senses.

“because you **love** me.” Sans explained and closed the door to do his business. Papyrus paused, wondering which love was this. Changing his clothes, Papyrus realized Sans used sarcasm because killing Sans would only give him 1 EXP. “THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!”

“bye boss!” Sans avoided the question and left.

  
**Brother intrusion [prt 2]**

“and you said you weren’t afraid of anything~” Sans rolled his eyes, sitting up and resting on his pillow as he looked at the side. Papyrus was beside him, covered in a blanket. “IF YOU WANT ME GONE THEN GET RID OF **THAT** GHOST!”

“but I’m too lazy.” Sans scratched the top of his skull, closing his eyes instead. Papyrus scowled, “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?”

“not sure…” Sans rests his skull on his brother’s covered form. Papyrus stares at the dull wallpaper until he felt the skeleton rest on him. “YOU SUCK.”

“have you tried calling undyne?” Sans hums, unaffected with the insults. The older skeleton listens to the SOUL beat as a lullaby, sensing it go dimmer. “how could i forget? this was the reason why we met in the first place.”

“SANS. YOU ARE THIS CLOSE TO DUST.” Papyrus warns, but Sans can take a hint. Sans should probably move, but not now. He was getting sleepy. “SANS?”

“hm?” Sans asked, drifting to sleep. Papyrus tries to move the blanket off but realized the 1 HP monster to be on top of it. “DO YOU THINK TALISMANS WORK ON GHOSTS?”

“pft.” Papyrus growled, but doesn’t know how to explain it in a better term. “F-FINE THEN! IS THERE ANY EFFECTIVE REPELLENT TO GHOSTS BECAUSE I’M GETTING TIRED OF HIDING IN YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU TAKE CARE OF THINGS?”

“zzzz” Sans was already fast asleep as Papyrus was able to wrap Sans in the blanket without pushing him off the ledge. Why was Sans’ bed small? The Royal Guard has no idea, but killing a skeleton who can injure ghost was not in his agenda.

“How many ghosts are there in the Underground?” Papyrus questioned to himself, placing Sans on the bed and decides to sit at the edge of the bed for some self-contemplation. “I should ask Mettaton about that later.”

“?” Papyrus stared at the wooden drawer, curiosity getting the better of him.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“…” Sans woke up, opening his eyes to see his drawers left open and hanging. Sitting up, the smaller skeleton got ready to attack the intruder only to see… “boss?”

“WHAT?”

Sans couldn’t help, but smile at the sight of his brother answering dozens of Word Search games. Right now, Papyrus was playing Sudoku and is stuck with a part. Papyrus didn’t even bother to stare at his older brother, preferring to finish the puzzle.

“why aren’t you out of my room yet?” Sans inquired, eyes trailing on the lying figure. Papyrus propped his elbow on the floor, resting his skull on his hand. “THE GHOST IS STILL THERE SO I OPTED TO REMAIN HERE AND FINISH THESE SUPPLEMENTARY MATERIAL.”

“you mean kid stuf-” Sans dodged a red bone thrown at him, heading for cover as the younger brother directed ten bone attacks towards the skeleton. If Papyrus was focused enough, he would have his bone attacks follow Sans’ location and still hit him. Papyrus sighs, “HOW IS THIS SO HARD WHEN THERE’S CLEARLY A PATTERN HERE!”

“sudoku has a formula.” Sans comments. That's when Papyrus turned to stare at him. “WHY DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO HAVE A MATH FORMULA?”

“because everything can be explained with science. yes, even ghosts but we have yet to discover it.” Sans shrugged. Standing up and prepared to walk out of the room, only to walk and sit down on the floor beside Papyrus. “WHY DID YOU ABANDON THE ROYAL SCIENTIST JOB AGAIN?”

“[because i have another important job] got too lazy.” Sans starts writing the formula on the blank paper beside the Sudoku box. Papyrus watches the skeleton write, trying to understand the symbols. “LIAR. THE WHOLE HOUSE IS LITTERED WITH BLUEPRINTS AND SCIENCE ENTRIES WITH UNKNOWN SYMBOLS WHEN I GOT HERE. YOU LOVE SCIENCE TOO MUCH TO BE LAZY.”

“… does trauma ring a bell?” Sans asked. Papyrus bit on his pencil, staring at the unknown equation. Oh yes. Childhood…. He doesn’t want to talk about this, neither does Sans. “I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. YOU MADE THIS UP!”

“nah. got bored and decided to get a faster way to solve a sudoku.” Sans feels sleepy, even if he has yet to start the day. Damn. He sucks. Papyrus stares at the equation and before he could try, they heard a crash downstairs. Looking at the sleepy skeleton, Papyrus ordered. “GET RID OF THE GHOST.”

“sure boss.” Sans nods and heads out. Papyrus follows carefully behind, wanting to watch how Sans can produce Gaster Blasters twice his size. After the ghost was obliterated, the Second in command begins to create breakfast while Sans sits on the couch. Sans rests on the couch, eyes closed but a smile couldn’t be helped. ‘baby bones.’

 

 **Sister intrusion**  
“UNDYNE! YOU ALWAYS COME AT BAD TIMING!” Papyrus exclaimed. Sans didn’t comment, but his eyes were closed. Undyne shouldn’t have done that, opening the bathroom door. As soon as she did, the redhead was faced with the two skeletons bare naked. Papyrus was behind Sans, cleaning the skeleton’s back while Sans gives the younger full authority. They were even in the bathtub with the bubbles and everything.

“zzz-? Hi fish commander.” Sans blinked, resting his arms on the bathtub edge as Papyrus cleansed his back. How long has these two been doing this and why didn’t she know? More like what sort of atrocities these skeletons have done without the porn society’s knowledge?! Wait. If she recalls right, Papyrus and Sans has a club dedicated to killing them but also a shipper club. Alphys is part of that shipping group… Undyne doesn’t know how to feel with this. She should get out now, but her body won’t move.

“HOLD STILL. I’M NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING TO YOU!” Papyrus growled as Sans jumped from the foreign touch. Undyne held the doorknob but has yet to leave. Sans was blushing, embarrassed and trying to excuse himself. Undyne’s eyes stare at Sans, clearly knowing what happened. I mean. She and Papyrus also has bath moments and…. She can relate. “ok ok. i’m awake now! i think i can handle cleaning on my own b-boss!”

“WHAT WAS GLOWING DOWN THERE? IT’S NOT MINE SO IT’S YOURS! WHAT SEX ORGAN DID YOU CREATE?” Papyrus looked really curious as Sans warped to the shower, having his silhouette on the translucent door. “n-none of your concern boss!”

“…” Eyes wide, Undyne not expect that sort of response. She was thinking Papyrus already gained a thing called **sexual gratification**. You know since Incest is a common theme here, not that she and Papyrus did it before. Undyne did have a love interest in the early start. She didn’t want to lose her first time on a skeleton and the thought escalated to not wanting to be dominated in bed by such skeleton.

“I AM YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW OF YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR IS IT GENDER?” Papyrus turned unsure in the end, leaning deeper down on the bath tub with the additional space. Turning around to Undyne, Papyrus asked. “WHICH ONE WAS IT AGAIN?”

“…We have training in an hour, don’t be late.” Undyne stated, not even negotiable as she closed the door and leave the house. She should have not traumatized Papyrus by declaring his search history in class when they were younger. Maybe if she didn’t, Papyrus would have explored beyond the limits of Academics and Work. Undyne cursed, “I fucked up big time!”

* * *

 

[Shopping District]

 

**Talking to himself**

[P.S. Inserts: Underswap!Papyrus, Undertale!Papyrus,Outertale!Papyrus, Chesstale!Papyrus, Mafiatale!Papyrus, Storyshift!Papyrus & Swapfell!Papyrus = Meant to be confusing]

 

 _"_ _hey fell! why are you there again?"_

_"SWAP! YOU DO NOT SIMPLY ASK WHAT **I** PLAN ON DOING?! IT ALWAYS HAS A SECRET PURPOSE!"_

_"Outer here! Glad to know Tale's world has yet to RESET."_

_"Well! I got a RESET and I have to go all the way just to be a Knight again!"_

_"There there Chess. Music isn't here because **they**  RESET few minutes ago."_

 

"Fuck. Not now..." Papyrus groaned, holding his head. Of all the times they had to start talking, it had to be the time when he and Sans are shopping. Damn it. Sans was grabbing hold of chocolate, a lot of chocolate products. Why does Sans like chocolate or does he want chocolate? Which one of them likes chocolate? He can't tell anymore when Sans keeps offering him chocolate drinks instead of coffee. Double damn! Sans' hot chocolate taste too good to refuse! "Guys in my head. Can you keep quiet?"

 

_"I apologize in behalf of everyone, but we need to introduce you to Swapfell."_

_"whassup?"_

 

"Dear god no." Papyrus wanted to face palm at the new voice. He swears this is not a figment of his imagination. If it is, he must have so much problems to create so many multiple personalities able to invent more of themselves from thin air.

 

_"homie~"_

_"oh hey! it's been a long time since we talked swap."_

_"same. same."_

_"SELF-REUNION!"_

_"That sounds so wrong."_

_"I don't think it sounds wrong!"_

_"I agree with Mafia here, Chess. Self-reunion is... a bit confusing."_

_"How is it confusing Story?"_

_"If we fragment the word self-reunion, we would be able to establish-"_

 

"How do I kill all of you?" Papyrus whispered, moving along the section to grab hold of the processed pasta. He can't concentrate with all the buzzing thoughts in his skull. These moments come sporadic. He can't control the frequency, but he can certainly say he never had any mood swings from this or a possession.

"sumthing wrong boss?" Sans asked when Papyrus stared at the pasta shelves menacingly. It was funny, but seeing his brother hit his skull on the shelves in defeat made him a bit worried. Papyrus doesn't move his head when he stares at Sans, "DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE DRUG SECTIONS ARE?"

"boss no." Sans frowned and placed the chocolates in together with junk food, unknown building material and other stuff. Papyrus stands up and holds on the cart once more. Walking beside Sans with the cart in hand, Papyrus muttered. "YOU USE DRUGS, WHY CAN'T I?"

 

_"WHAT ARE DRUGS REALLY?"_

_"Good and bad. It depends on the usage Tale."_

_"O-OH... THANK YOU STORY!"_

_"But Fell. I suggest you don't try it. I hear it's addicting like smoking."_

_"me and swapfell hear you mafia. besides, drugs don't work on us fell."_

_"I think you're ruining Fell's chance of happiness, Swap."_

_"pft. i know that outer."_

_"I RESEARCHED THE LIST OF DRUGS IN THE INTERNET AND I THINK FLOWEY HAS SOMETHING LIKE THOSE."_

_"Not in Fell's universe. Flowey is good in some of the worlds like mine and Fell."_

_"BUT FLOWEY IS ALWAYS NICE TO US, CHESS!"_

 

"i wouldn't want my cool brother growing dependent on it, do i?" Sans grinned at him. Papyrus doesn't know if he missed anything important, but he will pretend acknowledgement. Papyrus is now in the parchment section while Sans heads over to the book section. Feeling the material, Papyrus asked. "So if there is theory called parallel universe or whatnot, who has the closest dimension to mine and if we do have him in my head, tell me where the drug section is."

 

_"FELL NO!"_

_"oh god, mafia. i just imagined flowey as a drug producer in undertale."_

_"That is scary!"_

_"i know where it is."_

_"Swapfell. No! A Royal Guard must not participate in drug-related activities!"_

_"too bad for you story. me and fell's universe doesn't give a damn about the law."_

_"Sans would get angry though"_

_"relax chess. i'm sure he won't."_

_"I don't like this plan."_

_"but look at the bright side outer, you guys will get to feel the effects of drugs in our mind."_

 

"where are you going boss?" Sans asked and Papyrus turned around to see he has already left the parchment section and heading to a shadier part of the Mall. Papyrus blinks, wondering what excuse to tell this time. "I PLAN ON EXPLORING."

"yeah... i don't think so. we have to head back before dark remember?" Sans eyes at Second-in-command and walks beside him. Papyrus had no choice but to return to the known areas, planning on returning there when he comes back to buy the groceries.

 

_"You suck at lying."_

_"Don't blame Fell, Swap!"_

_"OH WELL! UNTIL NEXT TIME!"_

_"How about we not?"_

_"story is being a baby."_

_"Swapfell! Don't insult him when we're all a Papyrus. Ergo, we are all the same."_

_"Guys. I think we should cut the chat short. I have a mission ten minutes from now."_

_"VERY WELL! MEETING ADJOURNED!"_

 

"Thank goodness-" Papyrus was relieved the mysterious voices and popping disorienting colors stopped, but he forgot where he was walking. Feeling something hold his SOUL, Papyrus paused.

*DING! *

"boss! watch where you're going." Sans fussed when Papyrus walked towards the spikes, having the need to create a platform made of bones. Papyrus pulls back, embarrassed. Sans sighs, deciding to hold his brother's hand and grab some of the groceries.

"I-I" It made Papyrus feel more humiliated at being found out that he was spacing off. He, the Terrible Papyrus, being an airhead. It was inconceivable but here he was, acting like one. After a few minutes of taking different routes, Papyrus muttered. "I WAS THINKING OF SOMETHING."

"..." Sans didn't answer, leading his brother to his usual shortcuts. He doesn't have enough magic to do a teleport right now so this will suffice.

 

**What do you want?**

"..." Sans and Papyrus was quiet. Both of them inside the mall with hundreds of shops and merchandises... Papyrus doesn't know what to buy for Sans' birthday. Sans was quiet, thinking about his life as he stood at the entrance. Papyrus was waiting for Undyne and Alphys to come, only to see Mettaton come out in the open.

"Where is Undyne and Alphys?" Papyrus inquired. Mettaton gave a nervous smile, "They're... **doing**  *cough* you understand, don't you?"

"DOING WHAT METTATON?" Papyrus glared at the robot as if wanting the word to be said. Mettaton sighs, "They're fucking for an hour and still ongoing so I came here to tell you guys."

"...i have an idea." Sans' eye lights turned to stars when he stared at a 'particular' shop. Papyrus and Mettaton turned quiet when they followed the skeleton's gaze. Papyrus backed away, hesitant. "I AM NOT A GUINEA PIG, EVEN IF YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY CREEP! TAKE METTATON INSTEAD!"

"N-No way! It's bad enough Alphys experiments on my internal components, I don't want another scientist to do **that** on me." Mettaton also backed away, but both unwilling participants started moving forward with blue magic around them. Sans led the group with a grin. Papyrus and Mettaton are regretting - Papyrus for having a sadistic brother while Mettaton for even meeting with the duo.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What happened to you?" Undyne asked, looking at the battered state of Mettaton as the robot entered the room. Falling on the floor, the raven didn't even speak as he started leaking out smoke from several parts. Why was one leg missing, an eye damaged but still functioning and what is up with the odd lacerations?! Alphys turned silent, gasping at the scene. "Don't tell me..."

"What?" Undyne asked but Alphys was ordering several mini-mettatons to carry the original as she reached for her phone. Calling, Alphys asked out loud. "Sans. You better not have overdone  **it**. Didn't we promise we'll be celebrating a party at your house?"

 

" _...oh right._ "

 

"Wait. You are telling me..." Undyne points at Mettaton. "Sans did **that**."

 

" _welp. cancel the party. me and boss are busy doing **stuff.**_ "

 

"Hell no!" Undyne was ready to head out but Alphys held onto the female's arm, shaking her head. Alphys whispered, away from the phone. "This is **normal** , Undyne."

"But still..." Undyne gripped her hand, not wanting to admit that Papyrus stopped experiencing torture or restraints when the two reached college (Undyne and Papyrus).

 

" _see ya._ "

 

***Click. ***

 

"You should trust Sans more. He won't kill the guy. I mean. Didn't Sans have to go through you first before you gave him Papyrus?" Alphys asked. Undyne turned silent, unsure if this was really her intention. Even if it was, it was hard to let go. Undyne doesn't really understand what Love is towards family or friends, but it might be in those lines. Undyne gave a smile, unsure but pretty confident she can fix the mistakes if it were made. "You're right. My bad, Alph."

"Of course I'm right." Alphys fixed her glasses, smiling but with a melancholic (worrisome) smile.

 


End file.
